Q. I work as a PA for someone who constantly refers to my husband by the wrong name (Gerald instead of Gerard). This has been going on for months. I have corrected her twice with no result. What do you suggest? My husband is beginning to feel chippy about this. 

– Name and address withheld

A. Orchestrate things so that your employer has to send you an email or text in which it’s necessary to refer to your husband. Then say pleasantly: ‘I can tell you used autocorrect when you sent that message because the machine changed my husband’s name from the correct Gerard to Gerald!’   

Q. We frequently invite a lonely neighbour to a meal. He always brings a bottle of good wine. I do not drink alcohol (and neither does he) and would much prefer some chocolates, flowers or a house plant. Is there any way of suggesting this without causing offence?

 – Y.H., London

A. Next time, when inviting the lonely man, you might casually say: ‘By the way, don’t bring wine. I’ve got some wine.’ Then leave it to him to think of something else – he is bound to choose one of the preferred presents you have mentioned.

Q. On being introduced to a stranger I ask: ‘How do you do?’ However, instead of adhering to the convention of having the same asked of me in return, I am frequently subjected either to an irritating ‘I’m good’ (which is not what I have asked), or to a litany of the minutiae of the present state of the other person’s life. How do I forestall it?

– J.C., Ditcham, Hampshire

A. Many junior Britons are not familiar with this convention. Get into the habit of making a minimal bow and repeating your name when introduced. This way you preempt the risk of being told how the other person is, since you won’t have asked a question they could misunderstand. If the other person says ‘How do you do?’ it will not be too late for you to say the same.

Q. Might I pass on a tip? For many years, kind friends when coming to supper have brought us petits cadeaux, ranging from chocolates and homemade wonders to smelly candles. This winter many of us, living in draughty country homes with forbidding energy bills, would really appreciate nothing more than a log. We have left a basket in the back hall.

– N.C., Stanton St Bernard, Wilts

A. Thank you for this tip. Many rural readers would indeed be grateful for the gift of a log. Your local Honeystreet Logs, for example, has a four-week waiting list for its kiln-dried logs (£150 per cubic metre). However… perhaps one giant log for stately fireplaces but a supermarket bagful for cottage dwellers.

The post Dear Mary: How do I tell my neighbour to bring flowers or chocolates to dinner instead of wine? appeared first on The Spectator.