Elon Musk walked into Twitter headquarters this week carrying a sink. Presumably, that’s where he’s going to store the tears of the Woke-force after he ignores their childish list of demands.

‘Entering Twitter HQ – let that sink in!’ he Tweeted, like the geek who finally won a fight against the school bullies.

In their open letter to the billionaire (who has re-branded himself ‘Chief Twit’), the hilariously entitled Woke-force said, ‘A threat of this magnitude is reckless, undermines our users’ and customers’ trust in our platform, and is a transparent act of worker intimidation.’

It’s going to come as a huge shock to these privileged children that employers are perfectly entitled to sack people who spend most of their time taking mental health days or ‘working when they feel like it’ on the company dime.

Meanwhile, most Twitter users are thrilled to learn that the flock of juvenile censors are about to be thrown directly through the blades of a wind farm – so to speak.

Threatening your soon-to-be-boss is a bold move, considering Musk has already put 75 per cent of them on notice.

‘We demand to be treated with dignity, and not to be treated as mere pawns in a game played by billionaires.’

Oh, cry me a river!

How do they think the global farming community feels after the billionaires at the World Economic Forum collaborated with the millionaires in politics to destroy thousands of years of agriculture? Twitter employees are complicit in silencing farmers with their axe of ‘community guidelines’.

And what of the ‘dignity’ of Covid vaccine victims, erased from the digital realm by Twitter content censors protecting the hurt feelings of billion-dollar pharmaceutical companies?

As they say, turnabout is fair play.

Their full list of demands is as follows:

Respect: We demand leadership to respect the platform and the workers who maintain it by committing to preserving the current headcount.

Safety: We demand that leadership does not discriminate against workers on the basis of their race, gender, disability, sexual orientation, or political beliefs. We also demand safety for workers on visas, who will be forced to leave the country they work in if they are laid off.

Protection: We demand Elon Musk explicitly commit to preserve our benefits, those both listed in the merger agreement and not (e.g. remote work). We demand leadership to establish and ensure fair severance policies for all workers before and after any change in ownership.

Dignity: We demand transparent, prompt and thoughtful communication around our working conditions. We demand to be treated with dignity, and to not be treated as mere pawns in a game played by billionaires.

Twitter has the potential to be the largest and most powerful marketing platform in the world, which is probably why Musk has been prepared to put up with a lot of public hell to acquire it. He knows that after all the fun and theatre of its purchase is finished, he will have the last laugh from atop a pile of cash.

That said, you can’t turn a profit with a lazy, screechy, uneducated, fragile, wasteful, entitled, Woke-force – which is why most of them are about to be kicked out of the nest.

Musk is similar to Trump in that he refuses to allow the press to take control of his image. He has made it clear that he purchased Twitter to ‘benefit the future of civilisation’.

In a statement (released on Twitter, obviously), Musk said:

‘Dear Twitter Advertisers, I wanted to reach out personally to share my motivation in acquiring Twitter. There has been much speculation about why I bought Twitter and what I think about advertising. Most of it is wrong.

‘The reason I acquired Twitter is because it is important to the future of civilisation to have a common digital town square, where a wide range of beliefs can be debated in a healthy manner, without resorting to violence. There is currently great danger that social media will splinter into far right wing and far left wing echo chambers that generate more hate and divide our society.’

Musk’s solution will either be to open the cage doors and let the birds fight it out, or to clip everyone’s wings and reduce the frenzy to a ground-based pecking match over whatever seed the public forum is thrown.

‘In the relentless pursuit of clicks, much of traditional media has fuelled and catered to those polarised extremes, as they believe that is what brings in the money, but, in doing so, the opportunity for dialogue is lost.

‘That is why I bought Twitter. I didn’t do it because it would be easy. I didn’t do it to make more money I did it to try to help humanity, whom I love. And I do so with humility, recognising that failure in pursuing this goal, despite our best efforts, is a very real possibility.

‘That said, Twitter obviously cannot become a free-for-all hellscape, where anything can be said with no consequences! In addition to adhering to the laws of the land, our platform must be warm and welcoming to all, where you can choose your desired experience according to your preferences, just as you can choose, for example, to see movies or play video games ranging from all ages to mature.

‘I also very much believe that advertising, when done right, can delight, entertain and inform you; it can show you a service or product or medical treatment that you never knew existed, but is right for you. For this to be true, it is essential to show Twitter users advertising that is as relevant as possible to their needs. Low relevancy ads are spam, but highly relevant ads are actually content!

‘Fundamentally, Twitter aspires to be the most respected advertising platform in the world that strengthens your brand and grows your enterprise. To everyone who has partnered with us, I thank you. Let us build something extraordinary together.’

You have to give it to Musk, he’s pretty smart to appeal to the virtue-signalling sickness that has taken over the ad world. He is promising his advertising clients that if they stick with Twitter, they’ll literally be saving humanity by flogging their wares in the public forum.

Of course Musk bought Twitter to make money, but why shouldn’t he? That is the purpose of business.

It doesn’t matter what you think about the sincerity of his intent, if he alters the rules in favour of open speech – humanity’s conversation will self-correct, just as it has always done when there aren’t powerful shadowy figures killing off the voices of dissent.

‘A beautiful thing about Twitter is how it empowers citizen journalism – people are able to disseminate news without an establishment bias,’ wrote Musk.

Let’s hope he’s serious about that, because PayPal has come out and defied the Fact-Checkers, confirming all the so-called ‘fake news’ by re-instating their $2,500 fine on ‘misinformation’.

Citizen journalism is on shaky ground while ever the purse strings are held by ideological zealots in Silicon Valley.

Twitter does not need a moral prophet at the helm, it needs a good-old fashioned capitalist.