Flat White

“My name is Karen, I’m from Queensland and I’m here to help…”

17 August 2020

3:00 PM

17 August 2020

3:00 PM

Former prime minister Karen Rudd will lead a new government agency to approve cartoons before they go to print.

Mr Rudd will monitor cartoons while warning about rising sea levels from his beachfront mansion in Queensland.

“Cartoons are the great moral challenge of our generation,” Mr Rudd told his six million TikTok followers.

“My name is Karen, I’m from Queensland and I’m here to help. But mostly I’m here to rage against News Limited.”

Mr Rudd came to national attention this week when he complained that a cartoon in The Australian newspaper pointing out Joe Biden’s racism was racist because it pointed out Joe Biden’s racism, and this was racist.

“How on earth does a Murdoch editor justify publishing a cartoon about something or other when outrage, Murdoch is evil, a mouthpiece for Trump, News Limited ruined my prime ministership — both times — gutter standards, racism!” Mr Rudd tweeted.

Mr Rudd dismissed suggestions that the cartoon mocking Joe Biden should have been read in context.

“You can tell those d***heads in the newsroom to just give me simple cartoons. I’ve said this before,” an exasperated Mr Rudd complained in a video that was leaked to the media.

“Tell that bloody cartoonist. The idea that cartoons should be read in context just complicates it so much, you know. How can anyone do this? It’s enough to make a man pull his hair out! Or eat his ear wax. Mmmm … ear wax.”

Mr Rudd told a BBC panel on Cartoon Change that he alone would now approve all cartoons before they went to print.

He hoped that under his newly released Cartoon Reduction Policy, Australia would be cartoon neutral by 2030.

“To do this we need to encourage reusables,” he said.

Reusables included any cartoons from the past that showed Mr Rudd in a flattering light — preferably powered by renewables — or that put the wind up Mr Rudd’s enemies.

“Australians saw first-hand last summer that Trump is more ferocious and more frequent and our natural wonders – identity politics, the great state controlled narrative, our precious grievance industry – are now at risk if we continue to pump disagreeable cartoons into the political atmosphere,” he said.

Mr Rudd accused those who insisted that satirical cartoons were simply naturally occurring free speech of being cartoon deniers.

“Cartoons are not just a cartoon challenge. Cartoons are an economic challenge, a social challenge and actually represent a big challenge on the overall question of national security,” he thundered.

In a letter to the Australian Press Council, Mr Rudd complained that the cartoon mocking Joe Biden “encourages ridicule and resentment towards people of color” and “reverberates not only among minority communities in Australia but it also reflects poorly on Australia’s image around the world”.

“Editors at the Australian are a bunch of racist rat-f***ers, just like those Chinese rat-f***ers,” he added.

Illustration: No, not a still from Jurassic Park. Twitter. 

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