Flat White

Wattle load of nonsense

2 July 2020

4:00 PM

2 July 2020

4:00 PM

The following is a summary, as best as I understand it, of the process of rebranding Australia. When reading it, please think in terms of how the climate change scam gained currency. The parallels are plentiful. 

  1. The theory: The prime minister (Malcolm Turnbull) decided that Australia needed rebranding. Being associated with the kangaroo was “old hat and common”. We needed a more effective way for the World to recognise Australia. What to do? 
  2. Gather together a group of the country’s “A-lister” business people and other influencers from the cocktail circuit. 
  3. Give the group a fancy name, one that smacks of authority, in this case “The National Brand Advisory Council 
  4. Provide a generous budget and a free hand to recruit “experts” who find the theory attractive, especially financially. 
  5. Compelled by the belief in their own superior creativity (they were, after all, appointed on that basis) the theory needed justification. Without such justification, they would be seen (at least in their own minds) to have failed in the mission. 
  6. Even a cursory glance at the theory, with a mere modicum of common sense and logic, would have exposed its origins as being steeped in vainglorious narcissism. What to do? 
  7. With the persuasive power of $3 million and the dedication of a few arty farty trendies, they designed a logo so far removed from the kangaroo (universally associated with Australia) and the collective consciousness of every person on the planet that it is beyond comprehension. 
  8. In order to disguise the nonsense, The Council chose to describe the dotty design in high sounding language reminiscent of the Sokal Hoax. 

For example: 

Our proposed national brand mark balances a literal and abstract interpretation of a wattle flower. It’s an optimistic burst of gold positivity.

And this: 

It speaks of warmth, expanding ideas and horizons, with the pollen-laden stamens radiating a sense of energy and dynamism. It is an authentic national symbol that is elegantly and undoubtedly Australian.


And finally: 

Co-created with our Indigenous design partners Balarinji, the mark is embedded with a cultural richness and graphic voice that speaks distinctively of Australia.

For anyone, especially a cabinet minister, to reject it as a load of cobblers would surely result in their removal from the invitation list on the cocktail circuit. In any event, who would want to admit that they don’t understand postgraduate level international trading psychology? Que c’est embarrassont

Just as with climate change, this is so ridiculous one is moved to wonder about a hidden agenda.  

Peter Scammel blogs at Dinosaur Diary. 

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