Flat White

Beef and lamb go down better than bats

6 May 2020

12:57 PM

6 May 2020

12:57 PM

Number three in Craig Kelly’s series 20 reasons why the Wuhan Flu is the final nail in the climate alarmists’ coffin.

It should always be remembered that in their drive for ‘net zero’ climate alarmists don’t only want to litter the countryside with subsidised Chinese made solar panels and wind turbines, as electricity generation only accounts for around 33 per cent of Australia’s ‘emissions’.  

Net zero means net zero economy wide, not just electricity generation. The alarmists want to go after transport, mining, industry, agriculture – even gas for domestic heating and cooking. 

Australia’s agricultural sector accounts for around 14% of our nations ‘emissions’ and extremists pushing for ‘net zero’ also want to eliminate these, just as much as they want to dynamite our fleet of coal-fired power stations. 

And the emissions from the agricultural sector don’t include the diesel that powers the farm equipment or electric used in the farm shed, they prominently come from the burps and farts of beef and dairy cattle and sheep.  

Although there is some research that suggests that these might be reduced if they were feed seaweed, this is at best is only at the margins. Ultimately, the only way to satisfy the zealotry of the ‘net zero’ advocates is for a mass cull of herds.

To satisfy the alarmists, a lamb roast or sirloin steak for dinner for the average Australian would have to be a thing of the past. If they achieve their goal, the only place you could get a good steak would be in parliamentary dining rooms, corporate boardrooms — and at UN climate conferences. 


Except for a small volume shipped to high ranking officials of the Chinese Communist Party in Beijing, and the UN headquarters in New York, Australia’s beef and lamb exports would also have to end. 

The culling of our beef and dairy herds could be achieved by a ‘market mechanism’ a version of the carbon tax, an ever-increasing ‘meat tax’. Alternatively or additionally, ration books with coupons could be reintroduced, with the monthly ration of meat steadily reduced to zero. 

To stamp out any black market and illegal sale of meat and sausages, the newfound enforcement skills of our state polices forces could be utilised. The new skills they have learned chasing lone joggers off beaches, arresting paddle boarders and harassing citizens trying to boost their Vitamin D by sitting alone on park benches during the Wuhan Flu lockdowns would be very advantageous in catching anyone engaged in the crime of smuggling sausages let alone someone with the leg of a jolly jumbuck concealed in their tuckerbag. 

However, most citizens are not going to be happy swapping their t-bone steak, lamb cutlets, or ham sandwich with a serving of mung beans as the climate alarmists will demand in their long march to net zero. If beef, lamb and pork are prohibited, Australians will be looking for other sources of protein. 

This will be especially true given that latest peer-reviewed science, a study entitled ‘Meat and Mental Health: A systematic review of meat abstention and depression, anxiety and related phenomena’, published in the journal Critical Reviews in Food Science and Nutrition which found that those living on plant based diets were twice as likely to take prescription drugs for mental illness and nearly three times as likely to contemplate self harm — a finding which helps explaining why Climate activists have a tendency to glue themselves to roads. 

Therefore with net zero advocates demanding beef, lamb and pork taken off the menu for working Australia families, what better source of ‘climate-friendly’ protein than our abundant supply of tasty bats.  

We could fly chefs out from Wuhan to teach Australians different methods for cooking with bats – bat soup, bat stew, fricasseed bat. The TV cooking shows Masterchef and My Kitchen Rules could do special programs where contestants show off their skills in serving up bats for; entree, main and dessert. 

Town centres could set up special markets where freshly slaughtered bat meat would be sold. 

What could possibly go wrong? 

Although this might be the world of the future envisaged by climate extremists with their net zero demands, the reality is that after the Wuhan Flu as we try to put the economy back together, if any Australian government tried to impose meat taxes or any other policy that makes beef, lamb and pork unaffordable for the average Australian, there will be riots in streets.

And that’s just another reason by the Wuhan Flu is the final nail in the climate alarmists’ coffin. We ain’t going to stomach eating bats instead of our beef and lamb. 

Craig Kelly is the Liberal Member for Hughes.

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