A warm, fuzzy pat on the back for Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull, who went to Paris and – thus far at least – appears to have come home empty-handed. By that, we mean he hasn’t returned with a suitcase bulging with legally-binding, economically-destructive, ludicrously unattainable emissions targets that would have done nothing to reduce global temperatures and would have done everything to reduce our economic prosperity. Bien!

Perhaps it was due to his proximity to Belgium, or indeed to the exquisite crêperies of the left bank, that Mr Turnbull finally put his renowned fondness for the art of the waffle to good use. His speech at the Climate Change conference hit all the right notes – plenty of ‘inspiration’, ‘imagination’ and ‘humanity’s genius’ rhetoric for the luvvies to get excited by – whilst promising literally nothing. Thank goodness. No new targets. No new money (just a lazy billion that was already ear-marked for foreign aid). No new crazy promises, other than ratifying Kyoto II; in effect a fait accompli anyway.

Mr Turnbull’s ability to communicate warmth, compassion, sincerity, and above all ‘belief’ in the Gaian religion were, in retrospect, the perfect antidote to the climate change hectoring and scaremongering we have become so used to. His speech didn’t exactly soar, but it had the desired result of getting him (and therefore us) a smattering of semi-spontaneous applause. We ain’t the bad guys on the eco-block any longer. Job well done.

With a little luck, Foreign Minister Julie Bishop and Environment Minister Greg Hunt will carry on the good job of making all the right (non-legally binding) noises whilst committing to as little as possible for the remaining week or so.

Nonetheless, the Paris Climate Change conference should be seen for what it is – the perfect metaphor for the disastrous Obama years, in which America has abrogated its job of global policeman in favour of being the world’s number one self-delusional moralising hypocrite. Paris, home to jihadist terrorists and murder gets a quick makeover to Paris, city of climate enlightenment.

It should not be forgotten that Barack Obama, in an outburst whose staggering narcissism was only matched by its breathtaking stupidity, claimed in June 2008 that his nomination as Democrat presidential candidate was ‘the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal’. More like the day the rivers of blood began to flow and the planet began to split asunder. Since his election, the Middle East has turned (back) into a medieval hellhole of religious genocidal barbarism, Russia has emerged, bear-like and grizzly, from its post-oligarch slumber, and China has decided that it’s high time the Middle Kingdom claimed its place at the head of the global yum cha table. Perhaps, Mr Obama may choose to ponder in his retirement, a little less attention to the weather and a little more attention to geo-political tremors might have been the wiser course.

In a slightly disturbing sign that Malcolm Turnbull has been nicking slides from the hapless president’s power point presentations, the Paris Conference saw much being made of the mysterious but extremely faddish concept of ‘innovation’ – a clear favourite in Mr Turnbull’s lexicon and bag of political trickery. With extraordinarily fortuitous timing, just after Mr Turnbull’s elevation of ‘innovation’ as a ministry, a philosophy, and a budgetary quick-fix, the Paris conference brought us… ‘Mission Innovation’. Clearly, our new prime minister has his finger on the zeit pulse, although ‘Mission Innovation’ does sound more like a Tom Cruise movie than a potential strategy to tackle climate change.

Whilst it’s always good to see Bill Gates giving away some of those hard-earned Microsoft gazillions, it’s hard to escape the suspicion that this latest ‘mission’ won’t achieve much beyond making a few westerners very wealthy and topping up the odd university grant.

Still, at least ‘Mission Innovation’ doesn’t require the world’s successful economies to cripple themselves in the name of ‘saving the atolls’, so we should be thankful for small mercies.

Josh (again)

Full marks to one of our favourite politicians, Josh Frydenberg, for ‘calling out’ dishonesty and dissembling when he sees it. Mr Frydenberg criticised the unacceptabe post-Paris comments of Australia’s Grand Mufti, who blamed Islamist terrorism on everything under the sun except, er, Islam. Where MPs like Tony Burke – who once appeared to praise Palestinian terrorists – should hang their heads in shame, Josh can hold his high.