‘WATCH UNDER!’ was the warning cry made famous by one of Australia’s original expat Aussies living in London, as he would lean out over the deck of the Cross Channel Ferry in choppy seas after one too many cans of the amber liquid, giving rise to the popular abbreviation ‘chunder’. The hero of the eponymous comic strip and movie The Adventures of Barry McKenzie, this particular Australian ambassador-at-large certainly made his impression on those hapless ‘pommy bastards’ he encountered, in more ways than one. Indeed, the creator of the comic strip, which ran in the satirical magazine Private Eye from 1964 to 1974, would go on to become the most famous Australian in the world, thanks to his two other flamboyant expat creations, Edna Everage and Les Patterson.

(Barry Humphries & Nicholas Garland, his brilliant cartoonist, were both popular contributors to this magazine, and indeed, Barry gave us our nickname, The Speccie.)

With respect to the time-honoured tradition of Aussies abroad drinking too much, praying to the porcelain god in public and then roundly abusing those tut-tutting authority figures who have the temerity to interfere, it was reassuring to this magazine to read reports of the not dissimilar adventures of Aussie footballer Sam Kerr. Perhaps she now deserves her own comic strip. Allegedly, after a night out Ms Kerr was ‘sick’ not on a rolling ferry or in the back of a Kombi van full of hippies, but rather in the back of a London taxi. These days, most London black cabs – smart shiny new planet-saving EVs no less – pride themselves on their woke environmental credentials, so we can safely assume it wasn’t the smelly diesel fumes that caused Ms Kerr’s alleged discomfort.

To make matters worse – or better, in terms of our new comic strip heroine’s ocker credentials – Ms Kerr then allegedly got into a dispute with the cab driver which led to a London bobby intervening and, for his troubles, allegedly being called a ‘stupid white bastard’ by our famous footballer. According to media reports, Ms Kerr denies she used the word ‘bastard’ – once widely accepted as a term of ironic affection between Australians and Brits – but doesn’t appear to be disputing labelling the hapless Pom ‘stupid’ and ‘white’. Allegations of ‘racial harrasment’ abound, but is this fair? In this week’s issue, on p.45, former Labor minister and regular columnist Gary Johns explores the racial overtones of this ‘slur’ and delves deep into the murky world of who is and who is not entitled to cry ‘racism!’ in these days of ‘Blak oppression’ and its accompanying nonsense known as ‘white privilege’.

Ms Kerr was charged via a ‘postal charge requisition’ in January with ‘a racially aggravated offence under Section 4A Public Order Act 1986’ for matters which took place a full twelve months earlier. It would appear that the wheels of justice grind slowly in Britain these days, unless of course you call a purple-haired individual with a nose-piercing by the ‘incorrect’ pronoun or carry a sign pointing out that Hamas are terrorists. In which case, it’s straight off to the slammer.

It is a telling sign of the dismal state of woke Britain that the same police ‘force’ that is incapable of preventing home-grown Islamists inciting hatred and violence against fellow citizens sees fit to prosecute a presumably inebriated Australian expat for her poor choice of words.

Ms Kerr apparently chose ‘stupid’ and ‘white’ and it may be possible to prove that these adjectives are accurate, in which case, what is the problem? The only way to defeat the silliness of these endless cries of ‘racism’ over the most idiotic infraction is to laugh them off or ignore them entirely. Sticks and stones, and all that. As Libertarian and Speccie columnist John Ruddick suggests, the cop at the centre of the row must be a real ‘sook’ to be so deeply offended. ‘Cops are meant to be made of sterner stuff. On a scale of one to ten, where ten is ethnic cleansing, this is a 0.1.’

Should Ms Kerr have reported the charges earlier to her coach? Sure, but it’s not exactly – or shouldn’t be – a hanging offence. As is de rigueur these days, sanctimony and humbug surround Ms Kerr’s spectacular own goal, with indignant lynch mobs insisting she be stripped of her captaincy to ‘protect the Matildas brand’.

Yet one could argue that it is this very wowserism and judgmental finger-wagging that has stripped Australia of perhaps its most famous and popular ‘brand attribute’: that of the fun-loving, fearless larrikin.

What took place should remain between the cabbie and the footy player. The UK courts have far more pressing racial issues that they should be dealing with. Islamist-inspired antisemitism being the one that immediately springs to mind.

Hilariously, there was a time when Aussie sports stars were more feted for the number of tinnies they consumed on the flight to London than for the number of wickets they took when they got there.

Aussies abroad have a long and proud tradition of letting rip, both physically and verbally. Once upon a time the world envied us for it.