The Spectator

Portrait of the week

6 May 2017 9:00 am

Home Jean-Claude Juncker, the president of the European Commission, told Theresa May after dinner with her on 26 April, ‘I’m…

Letters

4 May 2017 1:00 pm

Liverpudlian censorship Sir: I enjoyed Kelvin MacKenzie’s Diary (29 April). The obloquy thrown at him after his criticism of Everton…

‘We’ve renamed ourselves in light of the polls.’

Polls

4 May 2017 1:00 pm

‘Does anyone have any questions for me to avoid?’

Lectern

4 May 2017 1:00 pm

‘Come on! Come on!’

Mirror Dredge

4 May 2017 1:00 pm

Panda AS

4 May 2017 1:00 pm

‘I identify as six-two.’

Bar

4 May 2017 1:00 pm

‘You might want to sit down.’

Test

4 May 2017 1:00 pm

‘We’re shutting the strong and stable door.’

Immigration

4 May 2017 1:00 pm

Reception

4 May 2017 1:00 pm

‘So it’s hard Brexit, soft Brexit, hard Brexit, soft Brexit…’

Dinner

4 May 2017 1:00 pm

‘I’m thinking of standing down as a voter.’

Election

4 May 2017 1:00 pm

‘I can’t afford a shepherd’s hut!’

Sheep Newman

4 May 2017 1:00 pm

‘We might end up with custody of Greece.’

Beach

4 May 2017 1:00 pm

Barometer

29 April 2017 9:00 am

Pippa goes public Church of England lawyers ruled that the public must be allowed to attend the wedding of Pippa…

Uniting the kingdom

29 April 2017 9:00 am

When launching the Scottish National Party’s election campaign, Nicola Sturgeon said the word ‘Tory’ 20 times in 20 minutes. For…

Portrait of the week

29 April 2017 9:00 am

Home Jeremy Corbyn, the Labour leader, cheered the United Kingdom by promising four new bank holidays for the whole country…

‘Just wait till your biological parent’s live-in surrogate’s transgender ex-partner gets home.’

Parents Lamb

27 April 2017 1:00 pm

‘Nothing else for me, thanks — my phone memory’s completely full.’

Menu Numan

27 April 2017 1:00 pm

‘It’s the Conservative election battle bus.’

Bus

27 April 2017 1:00 pm

‘Don’t go! I promise I can change!’

Promise

27 April 2017 1:00 pm

‘“Brought to you using non-fossil fuels” — the bastards are virtue-signalling us.’

Desert

27 April 2017 1:00 pm

Kitchen Cluff

27 April 2017 1:00 pm

‘All our priests are busy at the moment but your confession is important to us…’

Confession Dredge

27 April 2017 1:00 pm

‘I packed the kids off to boot camp.’

Sent

27 April 2017 1:00 pm