Dear Mary
Q. What can you do when disorganised friends say they would love to come to a concert with you but…
Dear Mary
Q. We have moved to the country and my husband often prefers me to drive — not because he wants to…
Dear Mary
Q. I have been trying to get an apprenticeship in fashion for over a year without success. I just had…
Dear Mary
Q. What is the etiquette on tipping in London houses? I have been in the habit of staying with friends…
Dear Mary
Q. The Idler Academy is within walking distance of my house and I note from the programme of autumn events…
Dear Mary
Q. I graduated this year (I got a first) and have written more than 70 letters to potential employers. Those…
Dear Mary
Q. My problem is that an older friend, with whom I enjoy lengthy telephone chats, becomes furious when my call…
Dear Mary
Q. In his Spectator notebook of 30 August, describing a recent gaudy at the Oxford college he attended in the…
Dear Mary
Q. When someone gives you anti-ageing cream as a present, is that an insult or a compliment? — A.O., Provence…
Dear Mary
Q. My neighbour is really lovely and always helps me chainsaw trees. He used to be the herdsman at the…
Dear Mary
Q. We have taken a flat in Edinburgh for a month and a young girl, temporarily homeless and a friend…
Dear Mary
Q. A scholarly book of great importance to me appears to have gone missing from my library. It was heavily…
Dear Mary
Q. At a drinks or a dinner party, when very attentive waiters are hovering, I tend to let them keep…
Dear Mary
Q. I live far away from my brother and his family, but went to stay with them recently for the…
Dear Mary
Q. My former cleaner has now retired and lives nearby. I visit her with clockwork regularity and always enjoy seeing…
Dear Mary
Q. We have recently returned from Provence where we stayed the first night with distant relatives. We woke on a…
Dear Mary
Q. My 16-year-old son, who has recently had his first experiences of Clubland, has observed to me, his mother, that…
Dear Mary
Q. How, in a party context, can one avoid answering what used to be called ‘nosey’ questions without being rude?…
Dear Mary
Q. I agreed to give (paid) gap-year work experience in my own large garden to the grandson of an extremely…
Dear Mary
Q. I am the co-owner of a chocolate business which regularly receives requests for donations of goody bags and raffle…
Dear Mary
Q. A friend regularly hires a stall at a general neighbourhood market in order to sell surplus second-hand clothes and…
Dear Mary
Q. Two acquaintances of mine have somehow inveigled their way into my dining circuit. They are men who, despite privilege…
Dear Mary
Q. My dear English husband has never mastered the knack of timing his interventions in conversation. He hesitates politely, and…
Dear Mary
Q. An architect is overseeing some builders at my house. She is a perfectly nice woman but has a maddening…
Dear Mary
Q. On arrival at a top level dinner, I was surprised to see at the table a woman who, I…
