My friend Tim Andrew has admirable priorities. When I told him I had tickets for this week’s Six Nations opener at the Stade de France, he texted back: ‘Final whistle to a restorative glass in the 6ième arr: 40 minutes. Can’t even get to the station at Twickenham in that time.’ That’s the attitude you expect from a former chairman of the P.G. Wodehouse Society.

I last saw Ireland play in Paris 14 years ago, as a reporter, when the first attempt at holding the match was called off at the last moment. I arrived at Gare du Nord at noon with the temperature already below zero. There is no undersoil heating at the Stade as it was built on a gasworks.

It had dropped to -10°C by the scheduled 9 p.m. kick-off. As 80,000 of us shivered in the stands, the band came out and tried to warm our spirits as groundsmen prodded the turf before the inevitable decision: match frozen off. My day in Paris had run to a good lunch, a stroll round the Musée d’Orsay and writing a weather report. There are worse assignments in journalism. Three weeks later I did it all again and the teams drew 17-17.

England open their Six Nations campaign this weekend at home to Wales. They first met in 1881, when the teams got changed in the Princess of Wales pub in Blackheath and walked half a mile to a field opposite what is now Marks & Spencer. It was not a close game. The Welsh side had been pulled together at the last moment, some never having met before, and they conceded 13 tries. Under modern scoring, it was 82-0.

Some might expect a similar result this time. Wales have lost 20 of their past 22 matches, most recently to South Africa by 73-0. England scored 68 against them in Cardiff last year. I will not be so complacent. Wales have world-class players in Tomos Williams, who would have been the British and Irish Lions scrum half last summer if he hadn’t been injured, and flying wing Louis Rees-Zammit. They also won the Six Nations more recently than England, in 2021. I still expect a home win, but Wales can make England fans feel less cocky on the trudge back to Twickenham station.

The Six Nations started on a Thursday to avoid a clash with the opening ceremony of the Winter Olympics. I doubt it will trouble the TV ratings but there are hopes that Britain might do quite well. We have never won more than one gold or five medals in total at a winter Games, but it turns out we now have quite a few characters who are both adept at being slippery and able to go downhill fast – and I don’t mean Lord Mandelson.

Wales have lost 20 of their past 22 matches, most recently to South Africa by 73-0

The world’s best two male skeleton athletes (the one we are obliged to describe as going down a slide headfirst on a tea tray) are British – Matt Weston and Marcus Wyatt – while Zoe Atkin in the half-pipe freestyle skiing and Bruce Mouat’s men’s curling team are world champions. We also have good chances in snowboarding and a figure-skating pair of Lilah Fear and Lewis Gibson, who are said to be our best dancers on ice since Torvill and Dean. Their routine this year mixes the Spice Girls with a Hogmanay reel. Pour yourself a glass of something warming and enjoy.

Finally, congratulations to Carlos Alcaraz, who became the youngest male tennis player to complete a career grand slam by winning the Australian Open. The 22-year-old Spaniard finally saw off Novak Djokovic in the final but he struggled badly with cramps in his semi-final and was seen swigging from a phial of yellow liquid. It looked like he was drinking a urine sample (homebrew?) but it was in fact pickle juice, an acidic concoction containing sodium and potassium that put a spring back in his step. Next time I play tennis, I’ll have to put a jar of gherkins in my kit bag.