‘Dearly beloved, we are gathered together in the sight of God, and in the face of this congregation, to join together this man and this woman in Holy matrimony, which is an honourable estate…’

This once-standard ceremony has seen a dramatic decline, but this decline is perhaps not terminal.

The recent Irish referendum, with its goal to rewrite definitions of marriage and the role of women and parenthood into the Constitution, has been a dramatic failure. Despite support from all major parties, the two proposals went down by 67 per cent and 74 per cent respectively. After successful referenda on divorce in 1995, same-sex marriage in 2015, and abortion in 2018, the progressive agenda has gone too far.

In Christian terms, the Holy rite was ordained for the procreation of children, to avoid fornication, and for the mutual help and society that one ought to have for the other. It was also intended to last ‘through sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, forsaking all others as long as you both shall live’. For many hundreds of years, this institution prospered and provided stability in the English-speaking world. In the last 50 years, this stability has been increasingly under threat.

Examples of changed attitudes are provided by former British Prime Minister Boris Johnson, and the latest American Presidents. There have been multiple progenies through multiple liaisons. Even Barnaby Joyce is enjoying a second round of parenthood. Darling of the Left, ex-Kiwi Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, has belatedly signed up. The latest political surprise is Prime Minister Albanese’s announcement that, after a failed marriage, he will marry Jodie Haydon. Maybe all is not lost?

Attitudes to marriage have changed dramatically and, compared with a level of 85 per cent 50 years ago, only 20 per cent of modern couples are married. This, in combination with effective contraception, has resulted in a different attitude to sexual relations and a falling birth rate.

The origins of the institution of marriage are lost in the mists of time. The first recorded marriage ceremony was held in around 2,300 BC in Mesopotamia where the institution developed when humans moved from hunter-gathering to permanent settlement and acquisition of property. Prior to this, family units consisted of small groups of men, women, and children. All were shared in sexual polygamy.

Subsequently, the wedding ceremony was later found in Greek, Roman, and Jewish communities, binding women and their heirs to men.

In other societies, a man was allowed to have as many wives as he could afford. In Shiite culture a temporary marriage, be it for hours or days, (known as Sigheh), is allowed to permit sexual relations. A worldwide survey in 1949 documented 1,200 different groups and found 186 had a monogamous society, over 1,000 with polygamy (multiple wives), and in the Himalayas, 4 with polyandry (multiple husbands). Polygamy is still allowed in many societies, mainly in Africa and the Middle East, and in the Mormon Church in the American State of Utah.

Historically, marriage was used to secure economic or political advantage, with little concern about compatibility. This approach is still normal in many cultures, with the husband not eligible for marriage until financially secure, usually resulting in a significant age gap. It was not until the 1500s that, although marriage was frequently arranged, consent of the individuals was required by the church. These concepts remained firmly established until the last few decades.

In the UK, the Clandestine Marriage Act of 1753 required all couples to be married by a minister of religion, subsequently the Marriage Act of 1836 allowed for non-religious weddings in registry offices. Child marriage was common until the 19th Century, and is still practised in India with a legal age of 14, and Islamic countries following puberty.

In the UK divorce was rare, and individuals required an act of Parliament until a legal process was introduced in 1858. Up to this point, there had only ever been 324 documented cases (only 4 brought by women). Divorce in India, although only around 1 per cent, is increasing in both Hindu and Muslim communities, as recent legal changes mean the wife is less disadvantaged. Australian statistics from 2017 show there were around 110,000 marriages (a fall of 5 per cent on the previous year, and 30 per cent compared with 1975, (when the population was half that of now), and around 40,000 divorces that year. The top 10 countries for divorce are all communist.

The social and religious stigma attached to divorce declined in the 1960s, and the contraceptive pill reduced unwanted pregnancies and forced marriage. Women’s liberation increased, with their involvement in the workforce producing greater independence and less subservience. With the introduction of no-fault divorce legislation in 1975, the divorce rate rose dramatically, at its maximum the rate was 4.6 per thousand of the total population. This has declined, to 2 per thousand in 2017, as fewer now marry.

The number of marriages in Australia continues to drop, falling from 6 per 1,000 in 1999 to 4.5 per 1,000 in 2019, and a low of 3 during the Covid years. Those who cohabit surprisingly have a five times higher separation rate than those who marry, and experience a lower sense of well-being. Around 50 per cent of those who cohabit ultimately marry. Surprisingly, their divorce rate is a third higher when compared with non-cohabitation before marriage.

Surveys of both men and women have demonstrated a greater satisfaction, stability, health, economic development, and commitment in marriage compared with cohabitation, which is associated with increased infidelity and conflict. Studies continue to show that the most successful marriage is the old-fashioned breadwinner/homemaker relationship.

Those who do marry do so at a later age, for men the average is 32 (it was 23 in 1976), for women the average is 30 (it was 21). A consequence of this delay is the increasing age of motherhood, now averaging 31, and an increased likelihood of infertility. Despite this supposed maturity, the expectations of personal freedom, lack of commitment, and boredom have undoubtedly increased the rate of changing partners. The influence of Christian religion in marriage has declined from over 95 per cent of church weddings in 1902, to 50 per cent by 1999, and 22 per cent in 2016. This mirrors falling church attendance, with the 45 per cent attending in 1950, falling to 16 per cent by 2016. The latest 2021 Census showed around 43 per cent still identify as Christian.

The effect of marital breakdown on children has been extensively researched. Studies suggest they are more prone to behavioural problems as they tend to blame themselves for the marital failure. They have worse educational achievement and are more prone to the development of anxiety, depression, aggression, drug use, poverty in later life, and a criminal record. This has to be compared with the stress of being brought up in a dysfunctional relationship.

With divorce or separation comes the likelihood of a new relationship and the arrival of a step-father, many studies have suggested that the new relationship, now labelled the Cinderella effect, maybe more dangerous for the child. Nevertheless, a good male role model is believed important for the child’s future development. The latest Census statistics from 2021 show that there are more than a million one-parent families, a steady increase to now 16 per cent of families.

As heterosexual marriage declines, the demand for homosexual marriage has increased. Gay marriage is rare in history but not unknown. The Roman Emperor Nero had two formal weddings to men and the acceptance increased in 2nd and 3rd Century Rome. It was finally banned in 324 A.D., but this failed to halt the empire’s dissolute decline. Same-sex marriage was recognised in many indigenous cultures in the Americas and in Asia. In 2005, the Civil Partnerships Act was introduced in the UK to accord the same rights and responsibilities to same-sex couples.

Australia introduced legislation in 2017. The number of heterosexuals marrying fell soon after, perhaps with Covid, but these marriages are now at 60 per cent of the pre-Covid level. Same-sex marriage peaked at 6,000 couples in the first year following the legislation, now around 4,000 annually. The cost of the plebiscite was $130 million, around $100,000 for each marriage that year. This legislation is still not enough for the activists. They seem bent on the destruction of traditional life and the marriage that previously sustained it. This is best exemplified by the incomprehensible statement by a lesbian activist that, ‘Future generations will thank us for eliminating heterosexuality!’

Currently, over 30 countries have legislated to formalise same-sex relationships. Australian Census figures from 2016 revealed there are 46,000 couples (around 0.4 per cent of the population and 0.9 per cent of couples) in same-sex relationships, half male and half female. This was an increase from 33,000 recorded in 2011, which was itself a 32 per cent increase from the numbers from 2006. The latest Census figures, from 2021 show there have been 25,000 same-sex marriages.

Statistics for the 10 years from 2005-15 show a failure rate of 30 per cent for lesbian relationships and half that rate for gay males, with a comparison rate of 20 per cent for heterosexual couples.

Historically, Western society has been held together by several important threads. Christianity has been a stabilising force, providing a moral compass while marriage has provided a structured basis for family life. In the post-modern era, our traditions and religion are also under threat. There are increasing demands from intellectuals that we apologise and compensate others for supposed sins of the past.

These pillars of tradition are weakening, we are becoming increasingly selfish and self-centred and losing compassion for others as we fail to commit. The traditional nuclear family has been a target of Marxism since the 19th Century, with the goal of its replacement by the state.

The Millennial generation are increasingly following what has been labelled polyamory, with an expectation of partner rotation or multiple partners. This lack of commitment (currently estimated at 5 per cent in this group, compared with 2 per cent in the homosexual group) is resulting in increased sexually transmitted disease, (levels tripled from 2001-11), financial difficulties, and poorly functioning offspring.

This triumph of self-fulfilment ignores the need of children for stable parenting.

Marriage in many societies will continue to be dictated by their culture, with the rapid expansion of Islam perhaps an important factor for the future of women. In the West we have gone through the stages of marriage for tribal reasons, financial gain, religious requirements, and love. Sexual freedom is now widespread with its self-centred concept of relationship without responsibility. The modern generation need two incomes to support their conspicuous consumption. This has resulted in delay or even abandonment of procreation and a falling birth rate. In Australia there were 23 births per thousand in 1950, this has progressively declined to half that number in 2019, well below replacement levels.

Twenty years ago, some were calling these trends a marriage crisis. It may also prove to be a crisis for our Western society. The advent of Covid produced its own challenges, with the number marrying falling further by 31 per cent in 2021. Perhaps Albo can re-invigorate the institution with his own marriage? The result of the recent Irish referendum indicates that all is perhaps not lost.