Imagine my delight, in opening up a recent Catholic Weekly, only to find TIA (The Inevitable Albo) on the front page.

It was TIA’s third appearance in a non-political setting over the past week or so. At least the third. I don’t keep count. There were probably more. One was his beaming media coverage with his girlfriend, now fiancé.

Another non-political appearance by Albo saw him sporting a Newtown Jets rugby league jumper, as thoughts turned to expanding the number of teams in the National Rugby League. There was talk of bringing back some old, so-called ‘heritage’ clubs. Sorry, franchises. We don’t have ‘clubs’ or ‘teams’ these days.

One word immediately sprang to mind on seeing kitted-out Albo… Cosplay.

Albanese appears to be engaging in serial political cosplay to turbo-charge his non-political side. And why wouldn’t he? His political life is in the toilet. This embarrassment of a Prime Minister almost daily sets new standards for how not to be a first-term national leader. Talk about squandering your non-mandate! He is everywhere, looking for things to do and say that will hopefully make people forget what his day job is.

What is cosplay?

Cosplay, a portmanteau of ‘costume play’, is an activity and performance art in which participants called cosplayers wear costumes and fashion accessories to represent a specific character.

He should probably try his luck at being an ‘influencer’ and monetise his costume work.

Of course, Airbus Albo’s outfit de rigour is the Akubra hat. He isn’t the first donning Australia’s preferred topper, of course. John Howard led that charge. Bob Hawke famously donned a funny jacket after we won the America’s Cup in 1983.

Bush 43 infamously pulled on a bomber jacket every chance he could, following in the footsteps of Bush 41. It was an interesting choice for a decidedly non-military man. (Admittedly, he simply wore a suit when he declared victory in Iraq on the deck of an aircraft carrier, the USS Abraham Lincoln, several years before the Americans traipsed off, armed with anything but victory.)

Everyone is familiar with the colourful shirts worn in political group photos at the conclusion of APEC (Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation) and similar meetings on some distant island. Hard hats are a traditional form of headdress for the attention-seeking pollie, generally worn when visiting a factory. A high-vis jacket generally completes the uniform. (Remember Abbott’s speedos and fire brigade gear? In Tony’s case, he wasn’t pretending to be something he wasn’t. Unusually for a politician, his fashion wasn’t performative. Abbott was the last authentic politician we had.)

The great cartoonist, Johannes Leak, has captured mercilessly another of Albo’s faves, the Yes Vote t-shirt. Voice. Treaty. Truth. Ideas that are slowing disappearing, one by one.

Michael Smith pointed out in August 2023 that Albo one day even became a miner (of all things, given his government is trying its best to kill the industry stone dead).

Inner suburban left-wing hater Anthony Albanese continued his photo-opportunity tour of Australia today.

He went to outback WA where he dressed up as a mine worker, and even got his own clobber with his name embroidered – for added authenticity.

He was quite a sight, ‘Anthony’ of Rio Tinto. Smith continued:

But he didn’t get dirty and had a fresh face of TV make-up.

It’s worth remembering that ‘knockabout bloke’ Anthony has never made a product or service in his life that anyone has ever wanted.

We should think of Albo’s methodology as Cosplay 2.0. The original version involved disaster leadership, opportunities to hug victims, and myriad press conferences. Politicians love disasters. They provide rare opportunities to appear presidential, as the Americans say.

Yes, I know, they all do it.

The satirical (fake news) Betoota Advocate demonstrates the problem of cosplay political dress when it comes to appeasing ideological groups, with its (fictional!) comments on his Mardi Gras outfit.

Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has caused quite a stir today, after revealing his outfit for Mardi Gras.

This comes as the WorldPride Festival kicking off in his home town of Sydney, with over half a million people set to descend about the Harbour City over the course of the festivities.

Praised for turning up to last years Mardi Gras parade, Albanese had previously committed to getting amongst the festivities now he is Prime Minister.

However, his choice of outfit has raised a few questions, with some punters accusing him of taking it a bit too far.

‘Uhhhh, whaaaaas wrong vithhh isssss,’ asked a flustered Albanese before pulling a ball gag out of his mouth.

The controversy stems from the fact that the Member for Grayndler is apparently planning to wear a full-length skin-tight leather suit with a hood and ball gag.

‘I’m just getting dressed up for the party,’ said Albanese ahead of this Saturday’s main event parade.

The outfit has seen his staffers trying to assure him that he doesn’t need to dress up in a full leather bondage suit to show the LGBTQIA+ community that he’s an ally.

‘What about a rainbow pin and maybe a bright shirt,’ suggested one of his staff, who can already see the Daily Telegraph front page on Sunday.

David Lowe of the Byron Bay Echo has come up with some do’s and don’t’s of political cosplay. He notes:

Costume play is not just for Trekkies and Disney fans. If you want to get anywhere in Australian politics, cosplay needs to become a vital part of your skill set.

Remember it’s all about geography, or more precisely the intersection between geography and your political base. Ben Chifley’s old, battered suit which he wore everywhere wouldn’t cut the mustard these days. (Emphasis added).

There you go. It is certainly a part of Albo’s skillset. Perhaps his only skill?

All in all, you would have to say that Albo’s cosplay strategy isn’t working that well. Every time he appears costume it reminds us all of his manifest shortcomings and that unusual combination of stupidity and fringe ideology that he brings to the table.

At some point, of course, he will have to set aside his Newtown Jets jersey and his mining gear and turn up at the next election. Sadly, though, our elections have lost much of their accountability function in our so-called representative democracy. They are becoming festivals of cosplay, too. They provide yet more opportunities for performative non-leadership.

And our polity declines just that little bit more.

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