Occasionally I wake up in the morning with the rain pelting on the windows and the sky the colour of a gravestone and I think to myself that maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea if we had a Labour government. Partly this is simply a sense of resignation and inevitability, because we are going to have a Labour government, given that the current administration is loathed by a wearied public and shows every inclination of breathing oxygen onto that loathing so that it develops into a fully fledged visceral inferno of hatred. Partly it is because the likes of Starmer, Reeves and Streeting do not seem, to me, noticeably less likeable or competent than what we have at the moment. Sir Keir, for example, is a man of principle, and I respect that. It may be that those principles change every day and even he doesn’t know what they’re going to be tomorrow afternoon, but this is mere quibbling.

It is within the far left’s idiocies that the Tories might find succour and a little room for manoeuvre

But then I remember, as the coffee machine grumbles into life, that we wouldn’t just be getting Starmer, Reeves and Streeting – we’d be getting the rest of the bastards too. Some of the most awful people in Britain, bound together by their post-rational identity politics and deep dislike of the UK and especially of the white folks who are still dumb enough to live here. With their hilarious non-sequiturs – Queers for Palestine, anyone? – and their absolute convictions about stuff which is easily demonstrated to be false within five seconds.

It is within these idiocies that the Tories might find succour and a little room for manoeuvre, because I have the suspicion that Labour will not find the next 12 months plain sailing. If the Tories are being rent apart by in-fighting, that is one thing: they do not expect to form a government next year and are jostling to apprehend the soul of their party (the bad guys are winning, btw). But Labour does expect to be the government and yet it too is being sliced open from left to right, largely over those ludicrous non-sequiturs I mentioned above.

The most obvious problem right now is Israel and Gaza – and the first indication that this is a serious issue for Labour rather than a trifling distraction will come with the London mayoral election on 2 May next year. If what George Galloway tells me is true, and I have no reason to doubt it, as the man has never lied to me before, he may well stand against Sadiq Khan and would, without question, hoover up the vast majority of the votes of the capital’s 1.3 million Muslims (about 15 per cent of the population) as well as those of the youthful, white, keffiyeh-bedecked imbeciles who shout ‘from the river to the sea’ on demos without having any idea of what the river referred to is (the Trent? The Styx?), nor for that matter, the name of the sea.

You can add into that already hefty constituency the votes of the further left Momentum groupies from the metropolitan white middle class – and hey presto, you suddenly have a truly massive dent in the majority of that smarmy, sanctimonious, egregious midget, which will already have been hurt by his war against people who drive cars. Remember that 64 per cent of British Muslims hitherto planned to vote Labour (latest opinion poll) but they will not do so when the party cleaves to what has been a principled stand in support of Israel.

My suspicion is that this problem will spill over into the general election, too: Labour is dependent upon the Muslim vote in at least 40 seats. It may be that Galloway decides to field Respect candidates in Muslim majority seats such as Birmingham Hall Green and Bradford West. For those of us who view Israel vs Hamas as primarilya struggle between civilisation and barbarity, it will be a little odd to take succour from Labour’s disarray when its leadership was for once trying to do the right thing. But these days one must take one’s pleasures however they occur.

Then there is the outright vitriol of the Labour left directed towards any member of their tribe who dares to dissent from its absurdist manifesto. Take the case of Rosie Duffield, the Labour MP for Canterbury, who has distinguished herself on two counts – firstly, as a supporter of women’s rights against the maniacal demands of the pro-trans lobby, and secondly as a stoic supporter of the British Jewish community.

It will come as no surprise, then, to learn that the left is once again trying to do for her – and using an allegation of anti-Semitism as the means. Duffield ‘liked’ a comment made by the brilliant, but now cancelled, Irish writer and comedian Graham Linehan which mocked an appearance by the increasingly deranged Eddie Izzard, a Labour candidate, on Sky News. Izzard had said he would be murdered by the Nazis for being trans and Linehan, reasonably enough, took the mickey out of that assertion.

The upshot is that Duffield has been told to remove her endorsement of the tweet by the Labour whips’ office and is officially under investigation for anti-Semitism. Nothing in the Linehan tweet was remotely anti-Semitic, whereas the people who have made the allegations against Duffield include the unfathomably dim journalist Ash Sarkar, who is a supporter of the openly anti-Semitic Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) movement and who once defended the scrawling of anti-Israel graffiti on the old walls of the Warsaw ghetto. My own personal hope is that Ms Duffield gets the hell out of the Labour party and joins us in the Social Democratic party, where she would be subject to no such iniquities.

So, there is still a small chance that the stupidity, absolutism and obsessiveness of the left will do whatever it can to spoil Labour’s chances of winning the next election. A small straw for those of you who are despairing, but one worth grasping.