Shouldn’t we all just calm down a bit after Lord’s? Once prime ministers decide to intervene, you know things have gone too far. Rishi Sunak has made it clear he wouldn’t want to win a match that way apparently, which feels very much like Tony Blair’s decision to wade into the case of Corrie’s jailed heroine Deirdre Barlow. Mark you, that really was important. So… was Jonny Bairstow out after being stumped by sharp-eyed Australian keeper Alex Carey? Undoubtedly. Should the Australians have withdrawn their appeal? Possibly, because Bairstow had good reason to think the over was finished when he moved out of his ground. But had England gone on to win the Test (and the Ashes), you can’t imagine skipper Pat Cummins would be getting an especially warm reception when he touched down in Sydney.

And what’s all this about the spirit of cricket? Well, to an Aussie eye that tends to involve English batters playing on after they are out. And Bairstow himself had tried to run out Australia’s Travis Head, he of the lustrous porn-star moustache, only a few days before at Edgbaston. Had he succeeded and the Aussies complained, we would be telling them to shut up. Rather than getting too worked up about the mysterious spirit, England should win a Test match. They can’t depend all the time on the brilliance of Ben Stokes, though it sometimes seems that way. England could have won either or both of these matches, but just fell short. That is why it is already one of the most enthralling sporting contests of modern times.

We’ve had ten mindbendingly exciting days of Test cricket, and from Stokes one of the greatest innings ever played. Oh, and some of the worst behaviour anyone’s ever seen in the Lord’s Long Room. In my experience, privately educated men of advancing years and higher blood pressure can be pretty abrasive, especially after an early start on a good vintage.

And MCC members are not – how shall we put it – the least entitled people on the planet. Anyone who is willing to walk the streets wearing that bacon and egg blazer has a pretty untouchable sense of his own importance. It probably wasn’t the best look to pick on Usman Khawaja as he walked through the Long Room, only a couple of days after a report had singled out some of cricket’s ropier attitudes to race.

English gentlemen in general, and MCC members in particular, have form as far as misbehaviour is concerned, and no one should be surprised by their yobbish behaviour. It was only 43 years ago – almost yesterday to a cricket lover – that umpire David Constant was virtually wrestled to the ground by an MCC member enraged by interminable rain delays in the Centenary Test of 1980. He had to be rescued by Greg Chappell and Ian Botham. A sign should be hung permanently on the Long Room door: ‘Beware – English gentlemen are active in this area.’

And so on to Leeds for the next Test – and if Lord’s was rowdy, prepare for something nuclear at Headingley. I imagine the well-lubricated crowds on the Western Terrace will be in a particularly forgiving mood, and the Barmy Army, who aren’t allowed at Lord’s, have already indicated they might have something in store. Whoever said Test cricket was dead?

I am sure that Stokes will use the Bairstow incident for high-octane motivation. Josh Tongue is very fast, accurate and looks as though he drinks tumblers of enriched bull’s blood for breakfast. He is dangerous and the crowd will be murderous. Stuart Broad is so fired up he looks like he could explode. Expect fireworks, enjoy the series and be ready to duck. Because you can be sure that the next time England travel Down Under, in 2025, they will get us with all barrels.