Greta Thunberg, the Shirley Temple of the apocalypse, let the cat out of the bag last week. She told the audience at her book launch that her environmental focus is merely part of her bigger secret plan to overthrow society. Apparently there’s a lot of ‘colonialism, imperialism, oppression and genocide by the so-called global North’ that has to be stopped. Gosh. Some have framed this as millenarianism’s Bonnie Langford saying the quiet part out loud, but surely it was always obvious?

More interesting, though perhaps even less unexpected, was her revelation a few days later to comedian Russell Howard (who wore the now-familiar ‘blessed by the Infant of Stockholm’ expression) that her critics were ‘heterosexual, white, privileged, middle-aged men’. Russell Howard is, of course, like the vast majority of Greta’s followers, a heterosexual, white, privileged, middle-aged man. What does this tell us?

Some have wondered why the eco-loons of Extinction Rebellion (XR) and Just Stop Oil aren’t heading to heavily polluting countries such as China or India to make their protests. There have been some vague replies from said loons that if Britain complied with their demands it would set a shining example for the world to follow. But this is terribly tenuous, half-hearted nonsense. You can see it turning to ashes as it leaves their lips. A similar idea was put forward in the heyday of CND, and it felt like desperate stuff then.

No. The real reason is because eco-loonyism is not about saving the planet, or even overthrowing society, at all. It has no possibility of achieving its aims by protest. It is in fact a curious mix of ecstatic atonement and the loons showing that they are certainly not, Heavens to Betsy no, like those yucky Tories or their yob voters, perish the thought.

Eco-loonyism is a curious mix of ecstatic atonement and showing that one is certainly not like those yucky Tories

Like many things – Glastonbury, the gap year, dyeing one’s hair bright blue – it is an upper-middle-class rite of passage, and occasionally also a pensioners’ pastime, a modern alternative to floristry classes and good works for the parish. And, most crucially of all, it annoys people which that ‘progressive’ section of the upper-middle-class don’t like – those ‘heterosexual, white, privileged, middle-aged men’ (well at least the ones Greta isn’t gassing to at that particular moment – her parents are an actor and an opera singer, after all). That is why Just Stop Oil is harassing British motorist and chucking soup at Old Masters.

So much of public life is claiming to be aggrieved about something but is really about carving out social and class distinctions, often within the same class, and winding up ‘the right people’. Elon Musk charging for blue ticks is a good example coming from a slightly different direction; a kick right in the status.

The imminent World Cup is the most brazen example of the phenomenon. Saintly footballers, plus luminaries such as the talkative Gary Neville and the monosyllabic David Beckham, are all happily pocketing the Qatari shilling (which is worth several millions pounds sterling). This makes a mockery of their constant haranguing and posturing about social issues, and exposes their concerns about slavery, racism, and homophobia as actually nothing to do with slavery, racism, and homophobia – which are all boom industries, right now, in Qatar.

It reveals that what this is really all about is signalling at home. It is the same with ‘anti-racism’ ideology across the board. Non-whites are simply props in that play, to be wheeled on and off stage when convenient. If lower-status whites cannot be blamed for something – as in the Uighur genocide, or Qatar, or Rochdale and Rotherham – these purportedly concerned anti-racists are simply not interested. It’s embarrassing. There is nothing in it for them, no status points to be garnered. Who cares?

Away from protest, so much of politics has a self-absorbed, tribal vibe. The Tories themselves fight shy of actually doing conservative things for fear of looking nasty and common. There is still a fear of social ostracism in them, of that Suella Braverman being terribly non-U. Robert Jenrick’s recent fluster about Braverman’s talk of ‘invasion’ was pure old-fashioned class discomfort. The Tories are hypersensitive to dropping social clangers in front of their progressive social equals.

Meanwhile Labour have taken the philosophy of ‘if they don’t like it, it must be a good idea’ to ridiculous lengths with their enthusiastic embrace of genderism. But even Keir Starmer is starting to look a little green about the gills on the issue now, at least when the dreadfully déclassé Mumsnet are watching. Immigration is a similar area. The transitory thrill of goading and annoying Farage and his kind is apparently worth admitting millions of people into the country on a whim.

Annoying ‘the right people’ is a powerful pull for us all.  When I went to cast my vote in the EU referendum I never thought Leave would win, but I felt I had to do my duty. I’ll never forget what happened when I got into the booth and picked up my little pencil. Out of nowhere I experienced a visceral, whole-body thrill, a totally unexpected holy joy à la Saint Teresa of Avila, a release of UP YOURS! to Caroline Lucas, Steve Coogan, Bob Geldof, Stephen Fry, etc. I’m sure Remain voters felt much the same about Gove and Boris. The last thing actually on our minds – at that moment, anyway – was the European Union.

‘This is annoying all the right people’, we often hear. And yes, that gives us a warm glow, and a kind of guide to whether something is a good idea. But is it the best guide? Being more aware of this very human heuristic, and a little more honest about it, would do us all good.

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