Not content with changing historical data to protect the image of Climate Change (sorry ‘homogenising weather data and closing stations with the hottest temperatures’), the Bureau of Meteorology decided to ditch its nickname ‘the BOM’.

It was a move set to cost $220,000 at a time when taxpayers are freaking out about inflation, interest rates, and a cost of living disaster brought about (nearly entirely) by government policy failure regarding Covid and Net Zero.

Considering the BOM is the government’s lackey when it comes to Net Zero, you can imagine how well the vapid spending spree went down.

Originally, the BOM wanted to be known simply as ‘the Bureau’ – which sounds like the perfect name for the weather arm of a dystopian dictatorship. The BOM promptly started behaving like a pack of totalitarians by leaning on Twitter to ‘rectify’ the situation where ordinary users took up their ‘preferred Twitter handles’ @TheBureau_NSW and @TheBureau_AU. Twitter suspended or ‘freed’ those accounts.

Despite shrieks from the Liberal Party that they are ‘not as bad as Labor’ when it comes to wasting taxpayer money and making stupid decisions, the move to rename the BOM began under the Morrison government.

A $69,300 contract was handed over to a Melbourne product and naming service to begin the ‘brand implementation’, but the full cost is well over $200,000 with another agency awarded a $118,177 contract. And no, renaming the BOM is unlikely to improve its rather dismal record of accuracy or stop hyperbolic weather maps coloured in bright red to make people feel like they’re living in an apocalypse.

The biggest question is, why? After all these years, why is the BOM suddenly acting like a Millennial and going through an identity crisis?

‘With an ever-increasing number of severe weather events, it is more crucial than ever that the Bureau of Meteorology’s insights, wisdom, data, and information are shared, understood and acted upon.

‘To support this need, the Bureau of Meteorology asks that media outlets update editorial style to ensure references to the organisation are by its full name, the Bureau of Meteorology or the Bureau for short, and not the BOM or the Weather Bureau. This aligns with the Meteorology Act 1955.’

Well, if they want to be taken seriously they could start by dropping the debunked myth that ‘severe weather events’ are ‘ever-increasing’. They might even consider going back to talking about ‘heavy rain’ instead of the ridiculous new invention of ‘rain bombs’. We’re not at war with nature, regardless of what the Net Zero arms dealers would like us to think.

In the same way Apache helicopter memes haunt the pronoun mafia, the BOM has (rightly) been subjected to several days of intense mockery.

The BOM’s narcissism ended in a backflip, with ‘The Bureau’ saying that people can refer to them in ‘any way they wish’.

Gee, thanks.

The waste of money remains. If this were a business rather than a government parasite, there would be resignations to tender and a heck load of money to be repaid.

In the words of brand new Twitter parody account The Bureau WA:

‘We know half the country is underwater, and that we should be preparing for all the cyclones that’ll hit WA this year, but rest assured our top priority is that you stop calling us ‘the BOM’. #TheBureau.

Australians do not need permission to refer to the BOM, what we want is our money back. Don’t tell us you have to raise taxes to deal with an ‘economic crisis’ while indulging in a branding exercise that lines the pockets of third parties.

And, while you’re at it, stop fussing around with Australia’s historical weather data in service of fake news and non-existent apocalypses. Thanks.

Get 10 issues for just $10

Subscribe to The Spectator Australia today for the next 10 magazine issues, plus full online access, for just $10.

SUBSCRIBE 10 issues for $10 REGISTER 3 articles a month

Already a subscriber? Log in