Flat White

Chairman Dan’s cure for COVID-19? Waleed Aly

23 August 2020

12:04 PM

23 August 2020

12:04 PM

Life in Victoria right now is a sad, bleak shadow of its former self. Businesses have closed their doors forever, mental health is falling apart, and people are losing faith in life ever returning to some semblance of normal.  

Fear not.  

Chairman Dan has taken this all on board and has come up with the very best person for the job to rebuild a shattered state. 

Step forward… Waleed Aly.  

Yes, on Saturday, the Andrews government released a media statement entitled, “Staying safe is in our hands”.  

“Victorians are doing an amazing thing – staying home and staying safe,” the statement began. “And it’s our actions that are slowing the spread of this virus and reducing the number of people and families that are suffering because of it…  


“It’s why, as part of the latest in the Victorian Government’s communications campaign, some of our most loved Victorians are here to remind us all – staying safe is in our hands.” 

As part of the campaign, Waleed Aly will feature in a campaign supposedly to encourage Victorians to play their part in stopping the spread of coronavirus.  

There is only one thing that has trended more on social media since Christmas than #ScottyFromMarketing, and it’s Waleed Aly.  

He is, without doubt, one of the most loathed media personalities in the country.  

He is the personification of out of touch media elites who flit between Channel Ten and the(ir) ABC in a distorted media bubble – with a little dabbling in academic on the side.   

The comments were, as you may suspect, on fire. 

“LOL”, “WTF, marketing?”, “You’re treating us with contempt”, “You’re spending public money ‘selling’ the lockdown’?” and “your tax dollars hard at work” were just a handful of the highlights.  

In response to the video of Magda Szubanski [in character as Kath & Kim’s Sharon Strzelecki], someone wrote, “You reckon the response to this is average, wait to Waleed gets a run.” 

If there’s one person in Australia who could possibly make the COVID chaos any worse right now, it’s Waleed Aly.  

And, sadly, the one person who can’t see that Waleed is the worst person for the job or rallying the troops, it’s the Chairman holding the public purse strings.  

What a disaster… within a disaster.  

Illustration: The Project/Twitter.

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