Politically correct feminism just keeps getting funnier, folks! These days, rants from its most zealous true believers are so jaw-droppingly daft you’d swear they were all part of some vast right-wing conspiracy to make the Left look as nutty as possible.
But nup. They’re dinkum.
Check out Vanessa “Van” Badham’s latest Guardian gargle. It’s titled “The Trump effect is making me eat doughnuts without shame”.
Talk about confected outrage! And “the Trump effect”? I think “Trump Derangement Syndrome” is closer to the mark …
In trademark brimming bolshie style, Vanessa fixates on a hate figure then emotively attributes all manner of evil to him. For example, she posits that President Trump’s “American Health Care Act” will have catastrophic consequences:
For a man whose campaign pledged to “punish” the act of abortion, Trump has perhaps facilitated the greatest single economic inducement to its clinical practice in all of US history.
Wow. That’s a big claim. I’ll be curious to know if, years hence, the national abortion statistics ultimately support it. Somehow, I don’t think they will.
It’s also a bit strange that Ms Badham would see a potential rise in this form of birth control as a bad thing given she herself is a zealous proponent of abortion’s greatest single ideological inducement: pro-choice feminism.
Later in the piece, she imagines still more societal destruction being wrought by that appalling white male in the White House via his “Twitter pulpit”. Pretty funny for her to lambast him for mean tweets, given the oceans of asinine abuse that have flowed from her own account. But she does so anyway:
Politico chronicles that he has called Rosie O’Donnell “fat”, “dumb” and “a loser”, Arianna Huffington is “unattractive inside and out”, Megyn Kelly is “average in every way” and Hillary Clinton “doesn’t even look presidential”.
Let’s add his statements insisting Carly Fiorina shouldn’t seek political office because “look at that face”; that Mika Brzezinski is “bleeding badly from a facelift”; and a crowned Miss Universe, Alicia Machado, was but “Miss Piggy”.
Not nice, sure. But pretty small beer in the grand scheme of things. And these are the worst insults she could find? Pffft!
In any case, why so touchy over jibes about women’s appearance? Isn’t that whole lookism paradigm an invention of evil white males? Why validate it by telling the world how wounded you feel because some dudebro called you “fugly”? It seems petulant in the extreme to care so deeply about the opinion of a mere male, and one whom you detest in any case.
Hell, if leftie feminists across the globe were as sassy, feisty and empowered as they routinely claim to be, Trump’s occasional attacks would have no effect on them whatsoever. Surely the best way to negate his insults’ power would be to simply shrug them off. Better still, his Twitter targets could crack jokes along the lines of “Your mean tweets cannot harm me! My frightbat bingo wings are like a shield of steel!”
Instead they opt to take offence — and bigly — making everything about them and their precious feelings; blathering on about how they were wronged, violated or broken and what a massive outrage it all is … In this vein, Badham makes the kooky claim that Trump has unleashed some terrifying plague of misogyny upon the land — one for which there’s no cure, given his position as POTUS:
When permission is provided by the president himself to humiliate movie stars, media grandees, prime-time journalists, chief executives of multinationals, prize-winning beauty queens and a goddamn former secretary of state on the basis of their looks, what kind of protection could any ordinary suburban parents possibly provide to their daughters?
Gawd. Vanessa seems to think that Trump is now also the Male Role Model in Chief. If this were a real phenomenon, American workplaces during the Clinton years would’ve been plagued by a noticeable increase in sexual harassment, along with a very suspicious spike in cigar sales.
And she wonders “what kind of protection”? Well, if parents are specifically concerned about this fictional Trump-induced scourge they could tell their daughters to remember that “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. That’s good advice to give kids anyway. And (chronologically) adult “feminists” would do well to remember it also.
Really, these chicks need to grow up and toughen up before it’s too late. If they don’t stop making mountains out of molehills they’ll suffer something far worse than finding themselves “barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen”. They’ll wind up medicated and straitjacketed in padded cells because their significant others kept giving them the wrong (i.e. honest) answer to the question “does my bum look big in this?”
Then there’s the fact that, as sexist sledges go, Trump’s tweet attacks are much milder than some unleashed by so-called feminists themselves. Take Sharia law fan girl Linda Sarsour’s tweeted wish that she could take both Brigitte Gabriel’s and Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s vaginas away.
Surely anyone who sincerely cares about the rights and dignity of women would be more outraged about that than The Donald pointing out that rich celebrity Mika Brzezinski had recently chosen to undergo plastic surgery. They’d also be extremely concerned that Sarsour and her Islamist pals were using political correctness to slyly subvert the fundamental meaning of feminism itself, not unlike a bloody great python slowly but surely devouring an unwitting little lamb.
Speaking of matters gastronomical: Badham’s final exhortation to her sweet-toothed “sisters” really takes the cake … literally:
One can hit the streets, the airwaves and the ballot box to protest Trump politically; I’ve done so before, I’ll do so again. But my rebellion against the judge-and-punish woman-hating Trump espouses with his catty legions comes in the shape of a human woman indulging her own physical comfort, without shame.
It’s a march that proceeds one lazy doughnut at a time. And as a refusal to validate any agenda to humiliate and control women, I promise all my sisters; it’s completely delicious.
“One lazy doughnut at a time.” Ugh. I’m starting to feel a bit queasy …
That’s not so much “jumping the shark” as doing a belly flop on top of it from on high, killing it instantly.
And talk about self-delusion! She thinks she’s changing the world. But really she’s just sitting on her backside, guzzling sweets.
Hell, in days of yore activists would starve themselves to make a political point. Ms Badham does it by pigging out. If they were fasting what’s this? A “slow”?
Sounds about right … After all, if you replace all that fire in your belly with pancakes and jam, you could easily end up in a serious carb coma. Sad!
Anyhow, you can read the whole article over at The Guardian — if you can stomach it, that is.
Matt Hayden is a Sydney blogger. He has several sites running including Die, Fluffy Wuffy, Die!
Got something to add? Join the discussion and comment below.