Rod Liddle

Let’s make assisted dying legal for Brightonians

I will personally chaperone the people of the city towards the precipitous edge of Beachy Head

7 May 2016

9:00 AM

7 May 2016

9:00 AM

I am having terrible trouble with my hair at the moment. It is lank, flat and lifeless. There are split ends. Also, it doesn’t smell too good. What’s that appalling stench, my wife asked recently while sitting next to me on the sofa as we watched a rerun of the old racist editions of Midsomer Murders starring the excellent John Nettles. ‘Probably the dog, again,’ I replied — but I knew that was a lie. I knew it was my hair. It smelt like that rotten cheese Italians eat. I don’t know why, because I wash it frequently enough. Maybe, to adapt Orwell’s mordant observation, at the age of 56 everyone has hair which smells exactly as they deserve. In my case, Gorgonzola, with a subtle undertone of raw sewage.

What I needed, then, was a brilliant haircare product available from a shop called Urban Outfitters. It is called ‘Peachy Head — Peach Shampoo for Suicidal Hair.’ That would do the job. But unfortunately the product is no longer available to me, because of the furore that was occasioned. The screeching, the howl-round, the mentalisms. Suicide is not a laughing matter, you bastards! The perpetually furious internet denizens — obsessives and compulsives all — bombarded Urban Outfitters on Twitter demanding that the firm withdraw the product forthwith and also donate money to a mental health charity to atone for their sins. I assume this last broadside was a case of economic self-interest on the part of the fantastically deranged individuals who inhabit cyberspace — they will be needing that assistance one day soon. Anyway, Urban Outfitters of course caved in and pulled Peachy Head. I can no longer buy the product because of the offence caused to a handful of people who have skin as thin and fragile as the surface tension of water.

Beachy Head, in East Sussex, is a famous suicide spot, hence the punning name of the product, the peachy/beachy joke which so enraged. Unhappy people throw themselves off the sheer and stark white cliffs and down on to the rocks 531ft below. As a reliable termination-of-life venue, it is quite close to the city of Brighton — and yet despite its great convenience and pleasant surroundings, all too few Brighton residents avail themselves of the opportunity of killing themselves here. Perhaps Beachy Head should advertise itself a little better in the city, maybe with a helpful map — ‘This Way To Top Yourself — You Know It Makes Sense’. I would happily drive charabancs of right-on Brightonians eager to end it all the 20-odd miles from their debauched and smug little bijou seaside residences to the terminal pristine clarity of those majestic white cliffs.


This is a city which has abolished men and women so as not to offend people who aren’t entirely sure which of the two they are. The council has a fleet of eco-friendly electric cars which, of course, never work. It had a council leader called ‘Jason Kitcat’. It is the home of our only Green MP. It makes Islington look rational and rooted.

Hell, if the people of Brighton can’t be arsed to make the short journey to Beachy Head, I would pay towards having Beachy Head transported to Brighton, so that it is even handier for them, and personally chaperone them towards the precipitous edge: ‘Look, look — it’s France just over there! Doesn’t the water look a lovely blue! Now take a deep breath…’ They’re all in favour of assisted dying, after all. Well, let me lend a helping hand.

It’s also the place — of course — where parents have objected most stringently to Sats tests for their unspeakable children. Granted, it is a mild surprise that there any people left in Brighton predisposed towards procreating in the normal manner — although maybe all the children are adopted. I don’t have the stats for that. But whatever, Brighton is the place where a ‘strike’ of six- and seven-year-old children took place — actually organised by their parents (or guardians) and various cretinous leftie-green activists. The children (but rather the parents) were supposedly aghast at having to sit these tests — one mother complained plaintively that her offspring (almost certainly called Syriza or Gaia) had a ‘tummy ache’ as a consequence of the stress induced by these brief exams. So they took their kids out of school for the day. One of the strike organisers said: ‘The kids weren’t just having a day off. The event had speeches, workshops, yoga classes for the kids. This is Brighton, don’t forget.’ Nope, we won’t forget, have no worries on that count.

A former head teacher called Kit Messenger said she thought that by and large children should be encouraged to learn things, sure, but not at the expense of not being taught ‘resilience and interpersonal abilities’. Listen, you silly woman: that stuff is taught by parents, or should be. Schools are there to educate, to teach, to inculcate knowledge and to both enhance and evaluate ability. But thank you, Kit, for no longer being a head teacher. There are some mercies in the world.

My suspicion is, though, that the parents took their kids out of the Sats tests because they were scared stiff that their brats would be revealed as being even thicker than they are. That’s usually the reason the middle class cavil at tests in schools. And they retrospectively decide that their children are one of two things — either ‘dyslexic’ or ‘more intuitive, intellectually, than academic’. Au contraire — your child got a Sats score that would embarrass a bowl of cauliflower cheese because he is as thick as a plank. And your genes are to blame.

The government has largely backtracked on plans to improve the education we give our kids, and thus to hoist the UK back above the likes of Djibouti and Cape Verde in the educational league tables. The poorest families rather liked what Michael Gove had to offer. It was always the middle class which cavilled. They don’t like the idea of a meritocracy, in practice.

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Show comments
  • Seatofmypants

    Ahh…my home town from the late sixties to the mid eighties. Great place to grow up…and I whole heartedly agree with Rod.

    What a joke it’s turned in to thanks, largely, to these new clowns who have turned it in to a grotesque caricature of its former self.

  • Malcolm Stevas

    Goodness, you couldn’t make up that “Peachy Head” affair, almost unbelieveable – except there’s nothing so supremely stupid, reckless, irrational or dangerous that the Green/Left denizens of Brighton – plus outposts of wackiness like Glastonbury & Totnes – could not indulge in.

    • Leon Wolfeson

      Ah yes, people who don’t agree with you, the enemy!

  • polidorisghost

    “Urban Outfitters of course caved in and pulled Peachy Head.”

    But why?
    That kind of publicity costs a fortune – Even I’d buy Peachy Head.

    • KingEric

      I’ll be 56 next year so I am hoping it will be available again by then as, going by what Rod says, I’m going to need it!

  • Damaris Tighe

    A few years ago we were told that we have ‘fluid’ and ‘multiple’ identities. This was to deconstruct national identity, part of the EU project. This has now moved on to gender, where the two s*xes have been fractioned & fissioned into ever smaller self-chosen identity groups. The two biological genders have been dissolved. The end result is a world of unstable personalities who don’t have a clue what they are, mired in an endless spectrum of choice.

    This final frontier is where left & right merge – a free market in identity in which there are only isolated, alienated individual ‘shoppers’ for the identity whim of the moment. Nothing rooted, nothing absolute in the brave new world of ‘choice’. The end result will be widespread mental illness, so the pharm companies should be rubbing their hands with glee.

    I find juggling two identities hard enough – it creates a sort of mental schizophrenia. Allowing children to float freely in a sea of identity choice is nothing short of child abuse, severing them from their ancestors, their roots & their DNA – discombobulated minds without bodies. What has this got to do with Brighton? The city is at the epicentre of this revolution, as Rod points out.

    • 1e2c3a4w5

      Well said!

      Anyone who doesn’t know what non-essentialism is should look it up at this point.

      • Damaris Tighe

        Essence is more than a liquid in a small bottle! It’s what keeps us grounded. People without grounding become mentally ill.

    • johnb1945

      I was about to say this is rooted in consumerism, then you did it in your post.

      Such personalities have a mindset centred on need, hence there’s more opportunity to sell them… er… stuff (was going to use another word also beginning with “s”).

      It’s nihilistic. An identity is one of many former absolutes which is now only valuable to the degree it delivers individual utility in the moment, of the moment. They even have a mantra “to live in the moment”.

      The trouble is that life isn’t about utility. There will be circumstances in which, by twist of fate or action of others life is unpleasant, or requires one to undertake something which is unpleasant.

      People raised in accordance with this orthodoxy will be badly placed to contribute in or survive such a circumstance, and what is abuse if it is not bringing children up unfit to inhabit the world that you brought them into?

    • Ivan Ewan

      Yo, Damaris, long time no see.

      • Damaris Tighe

        Yo Ivan. I’m banned from Coffee House so I don’t come here very often. I miss y’all.

        • LastmaninEurope

          Banned? On what grounds? Your posts are polite, erudite, entertaining and grounded. Please explain.

          • Damaris Tighe

            Thank you Lastman. I daren’t say in case I’m banned from the mag – but I will say that it wasn’t political or anything related to politics.

          • Tom M

            Mmm, synchronicity. I found Colonel Mustard posting on the Times this morning.

          • Damaris Tighe

            Only 18 mths ago when we were all battling it out here. It was another era.

          • starfish

            A real shame – I miss your posts

        • Bluesman_1

          I am in good company, I was once “moderated” for simply stating that one particular individual who had taken public money to which he was not entitled (an act intended to permanently deprive) was a thief. Despite citizen Nelson’s sanction, however, that individual remains a thief.

        • MikeF

          Damaris – if you are banned from Coffee House that doesn’t preclude you writing here.

    • Miss Darkside

      Outside the metropolitan centres of London, Manchester & Leeds (I have no experience of other cities to feel able to include them), the vast majority of people react in a very Daily Mail manner to the idea of gender fluidity. Whether middle, working or benefits claiming class, people find the whole thing very puzzling and feel that it’s an affectation of upper middle class leftist tree huggers. Brighton is like a different country, it has nothing in common with Bolton or Swindon or Knaresborough. It probably has nothing in common with near neighbours Littlehampton or Worthing either. It seems to be a place where the professionally outraged gather in a self-created ‘safe space’ where no one is going to force them to make difficult decisions like ‘are you male or female?’ or ‘what is the square root of 16?’.

      • Leon Wolfeson

        Facts; It’s rare, but having less suicides as a result of kids being bullied over this stuff would be good. Thanks.

        That you don’t like much of even England…well… then you wonder why people want physical safe space from your ideology.

        • Angular Merkin

          *Fewer* suicides, old chap. Where did you go to school? Brighton?

          • Leon Wolfeson

            So you deny the suicide rates among transgender people, due to your sort of bullying, check.

    • Leon Wolfeson

      So you blame the EU for everything, check.

      And then get all confused as to what’s happening, as you spew that not having your (solitary) Hateist sexuality is mental illness. As you say not bullying kids into your predefined roles at all costs… etc.

      • wibbling

        Another muddled and desperate post.

        ‘hateist’ is not a word.

        ‘Hateist sexuality’ is a nonsense conceit generated by a demented dingbat that means nothing.

        ‘ not bullying kids into your predefined roles at all costs’ makes no sense either. You’re grasping at whatever you can.

        ‘Child abuse is forcing children to act and behave inappropriately. A parent is responsible for guiding and mentoring a child. Raising, educating and providing for that child socially, morally and academically. Forcing Left wing bigotry and absurd concepts such as socialism on children is child abuse.

        Your post is blither. dribbling nonsense. Your own cognitive dissonance prevents you acknowledging that the poster is telling the truth. You know this, but because you irrationally hate the messenger you cannot bring yourself to consider the message. This is why you’re a sick, silly little man. Sadly, this silliness is the hallmark of a Lefty: angry and bitter but backward and illogical.

        • Leon Wolfeson

          Yes, you are muddled and desperate.

          As you talk about your issues, right. As you deny bullying, and note you’re no special snowflake…as you scream that not indoctrinating children in your hard right dogma is “child abuse”, check – you’d take children away from everyone not like you.

          As you confuse your post and mine, blame me for your issues, as you scream I just be your sorry of bully and thug. As you scream that not wanting suicides is “sick” and “silly”, as you blame the left for your issues. I just hope you haven’t harassed too many people, really, given your views and your totalitarian, child-stealing, “U MUST THINK AS I DO” dogma.

          • wibbling

            Again, you prove me right!

            Good lord man! You’d think you’d learn! You do know what the technical term for ilogical, irrational hatred is, don’t you? It’s a bigot. For supporting this nonsense (which you don’t, not really) you are damaging a child. Congrats. You support (even though you don’t really) abuse.

            My god man! Your head must be a complete mess!

          • Leon Wolfeson

            So you call on Satan, saying your bullying and thuggery is right.

            As you blame me onwards for your issues, as you scream I can’t not support dribing people to suicide, which you’re trumpeting on is so much a thing for you… dead kids are for you better than the “damage” of not being indoctrinated in your exact ideology, right.

            I do not support you and your abuse. Get over it.
            And I’m sure you and your thugs want to make a mess of my head, child-thief.

          • wibbling

            Your head is already a mess. You’re incapable of rational though.

            You don’t support child abuse, you do agree with us, but your bigotry prevents reason.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            No, your thugs have never managed to hit me in the head, sadly for you, as you spew your Orwellian mind-control fantasies.

            I don’t support child abuse – hence I don’t agree with your personalities, as I don’t share your bigotry and your opposition to thought. Thanks for the spew, child-stealer.

          • wibbling

            So you don’t support child abuse – but you do want to inappropriately control their world view to suit yours. That’s abuse.

            You are the bigot. We’ve determined that. You throw the term around to project, hoping desperately to protect your own ego from attack – tough. You’re an abuser or a bigot. You choose, you painted yourself into this corner.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            No, I don’t support YOUR plan, child-thief. As you spew again that not terrorizing children until they believe exactly as you do is “abuse” again, I want kids to be taught how to reason for instance – you can’t have that, right.

            As your personalities cream the lies over and over, making the wild claims I am like you, over and over, as you demand I be like you, as you talk about your paint-throwing, and the corner you want to force me into, no doubt with more violence.

          • wibbling

            Oh give up. Bigot or abuser. Make the choice.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            I do not chose either of your primary personality traits. As they are yours, not mine.

            I will not surrender to your thuggery, child-thief, no matter how often you lie and threaten me.

          • TartanTerrier

            Loony alert!

          • Leon Wolfeson

            “Loony alert!”

            Yes, thanks for alerting people to you.

          • TartanTerrier

            Satan……..are you Zeon. Figures.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            “UR MY ZEON PERSONALITY”

            Your po-faced “figure” rolls on.

          • TartanTerrier

            Zeon – he;s in a mental home. Poor boy.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            You are? I see.

  • TrippingDwarves

    It will backfire. The joke here is that these well-meaning parents are turning their darling little urchins into future monsters. Homework too hard? Go on strike. Life too hard? Blame the government. “Darling, eat your greens.”
    “No, I’m going on a food strike!”

    It’s a sure thing these parents will have to live with twenty years of pain – and they richly deserve every second of it.

    Meanwhile, those parents who have the good sense to send their children to good schools (mostly private), where they get a decent and robust education (including lots of competitive sport), can sit back and watch their offspring take all the good jobs (and medals) because they have the education and the character and the determination and the confidence to deal with life and get on with the work.

    And what happens then? The whining dregs insist the good schools (mostly private) should be closed because they create an unfair advantage over their poor, molly-coddled, limp-wristed little brats.

    Time to stand up for a proper education and tell these worthy folk to MAN UP!

    Grrrr!

    • johnb1945

      20 years?

      If this infantilisation ends the way it surely will, it will be more like 35. Maybe even 40.

    • Leon Wolfeson

      So the kids who are born rich and have connections… which is what makes the difference… can see falling social mobility shut other people out, and you then blame people for not being born rich. Right.

      As you whine that the state should be paying for the elite schools for the rich. As you hate the kids of the 99%, as you want them to BE SILENT and go work at the minimum wage 0-hour jobs, right.

      • wibbling

        Most people would rather like there to be minimum wage jobs. That way they stop being dependent on others and earn their own way. Thus we get social mobility.

        You obviously, don’t like that idea. But you wouldn’t. You’re a Lefty. You don’t want people to better themselves.

        • Leon Wolfeson

          No, most (virtually all, in fact) people want to be better paid than that. Your desire to force so many onto minimum wage jobs is yours.

          As you claim a minimum wage, forcing wages down to it, is “social mobility”. As you talk about how it’s better people are poor, and blame me for your issues in your rampant PC.

          In reality, of course, what’s happened because of your beloved Torynomics is workfare (replaces jobs), zero-hour contracts, employer-dictated fake self-employment and now rising unemployment again.

          That’s your policies, right there.

          • wibbling

            You’re confusing pay with earnings. Most people want life to cost less so their money goes further. That means lower taxes which means a Conservative government. A real one, not the Left wing one we have.

            I understand you’re irrational. I appreciate you’re likely tipsy. I know you cannot understand the problem. That’s not my problem.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            No, I understand just fine, as I understand just the propaganda your spewing I’m like you, child-thief, in your drunken state, and your problem with workers earning sufficient to live on.

            As you talk about the way the Tories have raised the poverty premium and left the poor with less, as you call for lower taxes on the rich, so the poor (many of whom pay no or little tax) can be shafted still further.

            As you decry economic policies to the right of Thatcher as “Left wing”.
            Do you support a bullet in the head for being fired, or is that too leftist for you?

  • rbw152

    You should try living in Brighton Rod. I have to keep my political views very much to myself – or I’d be lynched.

    The yummy mummy f*ckwittery on display by the middle class in this town causes my palm to be almost permanently fastened to my face. It’s sometimes nice just to go the other side of the Downs so I can actually let my breath out.

    I’ve got nothing against posh people or the middle class (well not much) but the other day I jogged past someone in a street near me whose affected accent was so crystal cut posh I nearly threw up. It was painful to hear. Not even the bloody Queen speaks like that.

    Here is a town where, the day Jeremy Corbyn became leader of the Labour Party someone in my street turned out and played bagpipes in their garden.

    Never mind Brightonians throwing themselves off Beachy Head -I think I will!

  • Freddythreepwood

    I like Brighton. Admittedly its citizens are a bit far out, but at least they are nearly all in one place, so we can keep an eye on them.

  • Polly Radical

    If a children’s strike coincided with a junior doctors’ strike, would the children be allowed to correct the grammar of junior doctors who can’t speak English correctly?

  • putin

    Greens are always thick aren’t they. Educated in English Lit. but lecturing everyone in “climate science” even though learning any actual science is beyond them. It’d be hilarious if only they didn’t have so much influence and weren’t so well connected at the BBC.

    • Leon Wolfeson

      So you project…right.

      • wibbling

        You’ve not answered the question. Are you drunk? The poster is correct. The Left hector and lecture and have far too much influence which they then use to bias the truth. The BBC as a notable example did.

        • Leon Wolfeson

          So you talk about the poster on your wall, as you drink away…right.

          As you blame the BBC’s pro-government line, and as you oppose the free press, call for internet censorship, etc – all so you can suppress facts. Thanks for that, child-stealer.

          No surprise you decry science either, of course.

          • wibbling

            No, I asked if you were drunk, which I assume you are.

            I suggest you stop casting aspersions on me that you enjoy. You are either a bigot or an abuser. We’ve established this. That you refuse to acceptit only deepens the hole you’ve dug for yourself.

            Now, go away, sleep it off and accept that you are, in everything you think about, wrong.

  • Vaqueros

    Brighton is the classic example of how the left wing have ghettoised anything that smacks of excellence – as they associate it wrongly with class and money: the two things they secretly love and hate most. Competition, capitalism, the pursuit of intellectual rigour – anathema and not to be encouraged. (Except in their own oleaginous careers).

    Middle class Brightonians would rather every child that entered into the egg and spoon race – won – got face painted, self-expressed through music, and learnt ‘socialisation skills’ – whilst mummy and daddy chatted over a bodrum to the other ‘twat-hatted ning nang nongers’ about their volkswagen van airbnb cheese tour.

    Brighton will never be a big city, as it’s populated by intellectual dwarfs. But then, it’s not about the intellect darling, is it? It’s about being a ‘good’ person.

    • hepworth

      “as it’s populated by intellectual dwarfs.”
      It may not be “PC” but Brighton brings to my mind homosexuals and not seaside and sunshine, nor intellectual dwarves

  • Neil Saunders

    There’s already assisted dying for the old or otherwise inconvenient (for which read economically inactive or unprofitable): it’s called the NHS in this country (but goes under other names elsewhere).

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXZB7GVURAk

  • Gebhard Von Blucher

    “…at the age of 56 everyone has hair which smells exactly as they deserve. In my case, Gorgonzola, with a subtle undertone of raw sewage.” In which case I am glad I shave my head…

  • Frank

    Rod, you are getting more sound with every article. The only sane way to look at Brighton (and some of our university towns who seek to emulate Brighton’s absurdities) is that it attracts nutters, so the rest of Britain is kept clear of their idiocies.

    • Neil Saunders

      Yes, it’s a policy of containment. The next step is to firebomb it.

      • Leon Wolfeson

        Why is murder the session of your far right? Why not knitting?

        • wibbling

          It would clear up the rubbish the Left have created and would save the citizens of Brighton well over £6 million a year in trougher salaries.

        • Neil Saunders

          Oh, it’s you, Leon. Irony never was your strong point, was it?

          • Leon Wolfeson

            Except it is.
            Oh, and hitting people with a 4-iron to the knee? Is not irony.

            (Also, trying to dismiss a post as “irony” out of nowhere)

          • Neil Saunders

            I don’t hate you, Leon, but please go away.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            So your feelings for me go well beyond hate, I see, censor.

          • Neil Saunders

            I have no feelings for you, other than regret that you waste your own time as well as that of others. Now, please refer to the earlier post and act accordingly.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            So you claim your posts don’t exist, as you scream on your demands for censorship of other views, and indeed of any facts.

            You, again, posted your bigotry against against; Anyone not your exact type of White English Supremacist, Homosexuals, Childless, Adopted Kids, Transgender, Women, Young Men, Christians, All Young People…

          • Neil Saunders

            No, I claim no such thing, Leon. Now be a good little boy, sit down, take a deep breath and calm down.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            So you’re a childhater, don’t think other views are valid, etc. – as you repeatedly deny your own posts.

            You seem to think I rage like you, lol.

    • Leon Wolfeson

      Ah, anti-intellectual bigotry. Wild claims of mental illness…

      • Frank

        Listen you poor little plonker, why don’t you go and live in Brighton and then you can see what everybody else knows and is complaining about.

        • Leon Wolfeson

          Why are you talking to yourself, Frank, as you claim to be everyone?

          • wibbling

            Leo, you’re a bigot. Accept it, get over it.

  • MikeF

    Glad you noticed the racist nature of the Midsomer Murders programmes Rod. Anti-white racism, of course with the residents of pale hue persistently depicted as rural idiots. There was even an episode where some ‘New Age travellers’ moved in and a group of locals (uniformly white and male, of course, and led by a retired Colonel type) formed a vigilante group to attempt to force them out – an attempt foiled when the Nettles character intercepted them and ordered them to disperse with a sneer of politically correct contempt. Are there any programmes on TV now where members of ethnic minorities are allowed to be normal human beings capable of less than perfect behaviour?

    • starfish

      Not on the BBC

    • Neil Saunders

      Things like “Midsomer Murders” and “The Antiques Roadshow” are what I call “there, there” television, as in “There, there, did the nasty modern world with all of its teeming inner-city ethnic minorities [sic] breeding at an exponential rate, aggressively-sponsored same-sex marriage and non-negotiable surrogacy/IVF/gay adoption, gelded middle-aged men dressed in their old aunties’ hand-me-downs and calling themselves improbably feminine names, strident, snarly, triumphalist feminists with scrubbed, stringy faces, epicene young men conducting the lumpenproletariat (with strategically-placed black faces and female fatties) in unconvincing, hastily-assembled Gospel choirs and tattooed, pierced, oddly-coiffed, virtue-signalling, brain-dead young people, etc., etc., scare you, my little middle-aged, Middle England diddums? Don’t worry! That nice Mr Barnaby will make you still think that you’re living in the country of your birth for the next hour.”

      • Leon Wolfeson

        Bigotry against; Anyone not your exact type of White English Supremacist, Homosexuals, Childless, Adopted Kids, Transgender, Women, Young Men, Christians, All Young People… right.

        • Angular Merkin

          He wasn’t bigoted against frightful bores though, so what are you complaining about, sunny Jim?

          • Leon Wolfeson

            He didn’t have a problem you with you? Hmm.

        • wibbling

          We’ve already determined that you are the bigot, leo. Dont worry. You’re a Lefty. We expect it form you.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            So your personalities blame me for your issues – as you mindlessly blame others in your PC, right, child-thief.

          • wibbling

            Again, you cast aspersions ot protect yourself. It’s a bit boring. Stop projecting, accept your guilt: abuser or bigot?

          • Leon Wolfeson

            Your desire to make people “guilty” for not being like you is sad. I’m sure you want to use a hand-drill to bore through my skull, child-thief, as you blame me for your issues.

        • Neil Saunders

          zzzzzzzz….

          • Leon Wolfeson

            Yes, those boring facts.

          • Neil Saunders

            ….zzzzzzzzz…..

          • Leon Wolfeson

            Right, the boring truths I posted stand.

          • Neil Saunders

            Boring, yes, true, no; and they stand only as a lasting reproach to the fool who posted them.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            So you say facts are not true, and you’ll use them against people who…

          • Neil Saunders

            No, I say they are not facts at all, if you care to read what I actually wrote, Leon.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            So you say that there’s no such thing as facts.
            I see.

          • Neil Saunders

            Of course I don’t, you silly man.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            But yet, Mr. Silly Man, you just did. So you’re factually a liar.

  • Trailblazer10
  • Sgtsnuffy

    YEAH GO AHEAD BRITS YOU’VE LOST ENGLAND TO THE MUZZY ANYWAY YOU’RE JUST TAKING UP ROOM THAT THEY CAN BREED MORE LITTLE JIHADIS IN . SO GO AHEAD AND KILL YOURSELVES OFF . YOU’LL BE DOING THE ISLAMIC BUTCHERS A FAVOR , THEY WON’T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU SQUEAL LIKE PIGS AS THEY’RE CUTTING YOUR HEADS OFF WITH A DULL KNIFE . YOU FOLKS HAVE LOST THE WILL TO LIVE . YOU BRING SHAME TO ALL YOUR ANCESTORS FROM THE PICKS AND CELTS TO LORD NELSON AND CHURCHILL .

    • MikeH

      Yes, alas your first sentence is all too true. My daily drive around my local area (a outer London suburb) shows what an incredibility large breeding program these folk are undertaking.

      Three or even four infant mini-RoPers clutching to a pushchair is all too common; it must be like a production line, one out and another immediately seeded.

      One almost feels sorry for the man (or woman) that had the eureka! idea of the double-capacity pushchair. It must have seemed like something out of science fiction to imagine a family without twins would need a quad capacity perambulator, but hey, RoPers keep on exceeding expectations!

      • Leon Wolfeson

        You see Children of the Other, and go right to hate. Right. And how dare i.e. twins…

    • tenbelly
    • Neil Saunders

      We haven’t lost the will to live, Sergeant, but our rulers have lost the will to keep us alive in our own country. It’s so much better for their corporate masters if they import a new populace from abroad who’ll outbreed us and squeeze us out.

      • Leon Wolfeson

        Look, your issues in Sauderaria or whereever…this article is about a place in Britain. And your fantasies about the Other, as you whine on…

        • Neil Saunders

          Could you translate that into English, please? What or where is “Sauderaria”?

          Anyone who (other than for the purposes of condemnatory citation, as here) capitalises the O in “Other” and solemnly prefixes it with the definite article (all the while believing themselves to have made some kind of meaningful statement) is a prima facie mauler of the mitre.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            So you decry English… demand I be like you…

          • Neil Saunders

            You could try answering the question rather than deflecting, although your previous form on Disqus suggests that any response on your part is extremely unlikely to be even remotely illuminating.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            I did. You’ve rejected the answers, as you note you’ve done so in the past as well, right.

  • Ingmar Blessing

    Oh, aren’t these the parents, who in their pre-adulthood-acceptance phase cannot get enough of multiculturalism, love partying in places like Berlin Kreuzberg, don’t mind living next to the headscarfed family with 6 children and call the Turkish owner of the vegetable shop their “friend”.

    Just to move out to the expensive suburbs when she’s finally pregnant to avoid at any costs, that their beloved kid doesn’t have to go to the same school like the stupid and indoctrinated kids of their former neighbors?

    That’s a delusion of the very special kind.

    • Leon Wolfeson

      Oh, so don’t happen to hate i.e Sihks and Jews… right. Don’t hate people for their ethnicity, right.

      As you then spew some nonsense about being able to afford to move, etc.
      Yes, your special delusion about the UK’s housing market today…

  • Frank Marker

    Yes indeed, what has happened to the good old Brighton that was written about so well in the novels of Graham Greene and Patrick Hamilton? Now it’s full of ‘New Age’ one-stop shops and people who are under the illusion they are unique and eccentric when in fact they are just tediously weird.

    • Brighton was lovely when I was five. A long time ago, now….

  • johnb1945

    I lived there and it really is an awful place. Think of it like an onion. As you enter via the A23 there’s an initial layer of peripheralised, criminalised social deprivation that even Jeremy Kyle would pass on merging seamlessly into a core of uniformly right-on, middle class, self obsessed weekend hedonists who refuse to grow up.

    And Chris Eubank, although I kind of like him.

    Think of its as Chavs by circumstance then Chavs by choice.

    Then you have the sea.

    And that’s the problem. Brighton is a playground, a place for the permanently adolescent. Taking a test is simply too adult a thing to do. It involves responsibility, dedication, not simply doing the first thing which pops into your mind 10 milliseconds after it has popped into your mind. For a change.

    Of course they don’t like tests!

    If, on the other hand, you’re the kind of person who wishes to be run over by a 45 year old BMX riding man as you wander down the old steine then subjected to a coke fuelled tirade for getting in his way, Brighton is your place!

    • NickG

      Brighton does have one saving grace in its sea of oddity and insanity – Roedean girls school.

    • Leon Wolfeson

      How dare kids not be failed for life at 7, etc.

      • johnb1945

        The SATs are not about failing kids, it isn’t the common entrance exam, it’s about knowing where the children are in relation to standard benchmarks of literacy and numeracy.

        • Leon Wolfeson

          Except how they’re used as a weapon against kids and schools… and other counties do better than we do, without the overtesting.

  • xnation

    Get lost Rod, take your bitter attitude and your hair that smells of cheese and go and cry quietly somewhere without the need to target a whole bunch of people you’ve never met. Perhaps after beating a pregnant woman you’re now looking for another easy target but I would suggest you throw yourself off Beachy Head.

    • Neil Saunders

      Meeow!

  • Nick Coquet

    Apart from being grossly offensive to those affected by suicide, this is a lazy rehash on your bitter Sun opinion piece yesterday, in which you did yourself no favours either. In Brighton we pride ourselves on being able to think for ourselves, not side with the vile Murdoch-fed masses I see below this comment.

    We’re immensely proud of our red and green political island in a sea of hateful blue.. We don’t put up with the EDL, we don’t put up with homophobia and we don’t put up with racism or sexism. If that’s being “politically correct”, well, then we’re proud of that too. You use words like “trannies” like it’s 1975. Rod, the educated world has moved on. Perhaps you should, too.

    (We also don’t like people who assault their pregnant girlfriends, if perhaps that resonates more personally with you. Classy.)

    Your 6th Form diatribes have been widely shared and judged in our city. We’re glad you don’t like us. You’re a hateful excuse for a man. Thousands upon thousands of people do, though, and we welcome them whoever they are. Year in, year out. We’re not perfect, but at least we try to make the world a slightly less depressing place to live in.

    Brighton is a place where you can be individual, as long as its on an inclusive basis. Your spite and vitriol aren’t welcome here. Please stay away.

    • whyayeman

      “……. the educated world has moved on.”

      Thus speaketh the brainwashed ‘its’ who have never become adults in the true sense of the word, and who give themselves those strange sounding names.

      • Nick Coquet

        …and there we have it.

        As a Brighton man I’ve obviously given myself a strange name and carry a handbag, because I must be gay or one of those “trannies” you’re all so afraid of. Do you really want to go back to a time when everyone’s mind was as small as yours? I suspect you do. And that’s a real shame.

        • Neil Saunders

          You’re the dandy Brighton man that we’re too scared to mention. You spend your days defending gays and fighting racial tension.

          • Nick Coquet

            Gay people shouldn’t need defending in 2016, but thanks to prehistoric and idiotic comments like yours, they still do.

            Jesus, what a time to be alive…

          • johnhenry

            Well, there’s always Beachy Head, Mr Coq. Take a day trip there. Soon.
            ___
            Just teasing, Nikki. Even complete idjits deserve a right to life, however disgusting their lives might be.

          • Angular Merkin

            Offensive to Christians!

          • Neil Saunders

            So you’re alive! I had you down as one of the Guardianista undead. It would seem that you’re only deceased from the neck up.

          • Large Al

            If all else fails, the well-trodden, but meaningless homophobic line is always there as your safety net.

          • Neil Saunders

            If all else fails (and it always does), a few words of virtue-signalling boilerplate will make SJWs feel better about themselves.

    • Neil Saunders

      That’s right – slap him hard with your handbag!

    • Vaqueros

      The problem is that Brighton doesn’t think for itself. Rather, it suffers from ‘groupthink’, where the consensus has to be coming from the left. It’s in an ideological straightjacket to the preclusion of any solution that doesn’t chime.

      It’s why you can’t have a reasoned debate about immigration, education or society. They are the first to cry ‘offense!’ and the last to think. They espouse recycling, but can’t organise their rubbish removal; they proselytise individuality but prosecute those who don’t conform: they don’t like capitalism, talk of competition, tests for education – and god help if your parents sent you to a public school or you agreed with some of Thatcher’s policies. (That’s a no no).

      They make a virtue of their inclusiveness and perceived heightened moral sensibilities; but, as above, find it so easy to get in the gutter and revert to ad hominem comments. Argue the point, not the man/woman/transgender/thing/squash – whatever!

      Brighton, you don’t have the monopoly when it comes to policy – and you will never get close if your idea of inclusiveness is exclusive to only those who sing your tired folk warble.

      ‘Brighton is a place where you can be individual, as long as it’s on an inclusive basis’. Reminds one of Henry Ford: you can have any colour you like, as long as it’s black. Amen.

      • Leon Wolfeson

        Ah, that denial of democracy. And as you try and suppress debate. As you argue against the people…

      • John Bindon

        I lived in Brighton for over thirty years and only live a few miles away now. “Brighton doesn’t think for itself “? Do you mean all 150,000 of its inhabitants ? Know them well do you ? Rod is right in as much as there ARE a number of self-obsessed right on individuals in the city. In my – and from my above history, not inconsiderable, and I suspect greater than yours – experience, I would put that number at about 5% of its population.

      • Large Al

        Pitiable gibberish.

        If you weren’t embarrassed by posting that, you really should be. Come back when you know what you’re on about, and stop following the tedious line of low-rent hacks like Liddle.

        This is your problem, no-one else’s.

    • davidofkent

      Sometimes it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool rather than open one’s mouth and remove all doubt. This is one of those times.

    • Angular Merkin

      Did you drag your safe space all the way here to be offended?

    • antoncheckout

      “a place where you can be individual, as long as…”
      as long as you all think and act as a clique.

      “You’re all individuals!” 🙂 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QereR0CViMY

  • Neil Saunders

    Come friendly bombs and fall on Brighton,/The place is now insufferably “right on”.

    • Large Al

      … says somene who’s evidently never been.

      Lazy post, borne of tedious prejudice. Your problem, not mine.

      • Neil Saunders

        You should look up the meaning of the word “prejudice”. I have, in fact, visited Brighton many times. It used to be a lovely, characterful place until the fauxhemians and candy-striped deviants turned it into Camden-on-Sea.

        As for YOUR post: lazy prose, born (note correct spelling) of Guardian-induced self-righteousness. Everybody’s problem, alas!

    • It’s a pity that all that God of Wrath stuff is nonsense or maybe it could go the way of Sodom and Gomorrah and be bombed with burning pitch…. I suppose burning sulphur was the Bronze Age version of napalm. Maybe we could send Leon there on the appointed day, so he could be part of the toasting.

  • Ivor MacAdam

    No need for the bus to Beachy Head, Rod. Brighton has a new erection on the seafront, where the remains of the burnt-out West Pier are. Just great for unacompanied flying lessons! The jihaddi johns and their ilk will have a field day in Brighton, now the “gayyye capital of Britain” giving the traditional encouraging shove off the top!

  • dramocles

    Look on the bright side, Rod. The Boro have just beaten Brighton to premiership promotion.

  • johnhenry

    All Brightonians, such as Mr/Ms Coq below, who advocate confusion and the destruction of the clear bright line between the sexes are either gravely ill or seriously evil. They belong in asylums or prisons.

    • Leon Wolfeson

      Ah yes, those who don’t bully like you must be the enemy, and like all those who differ from your views must be locked up…

      • johnhenry

        “… those who differ from your views must be locked up…”

        What an ill informed response. Tell me, who is more likely to be “locked up” in your crazy world, me or your Nikki Coq? As for bullies, who descended into personal invective first on this thread, me or your Nikki Coq?

        • Leon Wolfeson

          My crazy world? It’s based on your expressed views.

          And it’s your world, and your lockup.

          • johnhenry

            You could be a stand-up comic in smaller venues. Try Cow Lick, West Virginia.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            I don’t want your job, thanks, Mr. “Lock up people not like me”.

            Also, you’re the other sort of funny. I was of course using exaggerated sarcasm against a vile little suggestion, but you’ve picked up and run with your little concept..

          • johnhenry

            Don’t want my job? Just as well. Best hang on to your job at the bath house.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            Yea, I don’t want your partner’s job either.

            (No, no, I’m not better than that, heh)

          • johnhenry

            You old goat lover.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            “You old goat lover.”

            …But no, I don’t share that preference of your either.

          • johnhenry

            Yawn. Toodaloo, buckaroo.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            Yea, those boring truths. Oh well, have fun with the geometric shapes and red wax!

      • Give our God Immortal Praise

        Awwwww, someone’s bullying you? How beastly! Don’t worry, gay boy, I’m sure they’ll get banned or better still even arrested.

        • Leon Wolfeson

          So you randomly spew homophobia, out of nowhere.

          As you cry about the law, and demand a platform.

          • Give our God Immortal Praise

            Sorry about your butt-hurt, gay boy, hope it eases soon for you.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            So you spew more bigotry at me, entirely randomly, showing your bullying nature.

          • Give our God Immortal Praise

            You love being a victim. Have a nice day.

          • He didn’t ‘cry’ at all; he responded to a puerile outburst of emotional nonsense. You’re the one that is whining on old bean.

          • Leon Wolfeson

            Mr. Old Bean, no, he was not responding to your “puerile outburst of emotional nonsense.”

          • You argue like a little girl. Are you a tra nny?

          • Leon Wolfeson

            So you blame me for your fantasies, and spew more random bigotry.

          • Bwah hah ha ha ha…… :))

          • Leon Wolfeson

            Why the creepy laughter?

          • Bwahhhh ha ha ha haaaaaaa ha ha ha……………

      • Where have I seen this theme before? Have you called him an anti-Semite yet?

        • Leon Wolfeson

          Funny, I actually call people who express that view…

          Rather than your PC bigotry.

  • johnhenry

    Thank you for sharing that fascinating (ugh!) information about your follicular woes, Rod. Otherwise, though, this was an entertaining satire – not quite Swiftian, but pretty good.

  • William Stanier

    It’s Saturday and Leon’s on the loose – again.

    This article could have been written with him in mind. Now we know why he is so disturbed. He was brought up in Brighton.

    • You don’t mean that mad ba stard Wolfeston do you? He called me an anti-Semite for refuting his let them all in nonsense. Who knew it was anti-Semitic to object to a Muslim avalanche? I’d have thought fewer of Mohammed’s followers would mean less anti-Semitism myself. Then he said (presumably because the voices told him, because I hadn’t) that I wanted to have him deported! Sorry for the digression if that isn’t the Leon you were referring to.

  • dave hennig

    Jealous, pathetic,bigoted fools. Rod, you’re a sad, self obsessing, dried out coward. You wouldn’t dare tell anyone face to face what you write. Shameful,crawl away old man.

    • Rbeastlondon

      Rod says what he says in a public forum!

      • dave hennig

        Wrote for “The Sun”,enough said. You can’t moan about the mayoral elections when the government were voted in with only a few % more. Enjoy.

        • Andrew Smith

          Refuted, so you change the subject…..

    • Foxy Loxy

      Are you Malcolm, or Cressida?

  • tracery

    Rod, an absolutely brilliant article; you have surpassed yourself. You are quite right to point out the sheer stupidity of some of these people who seem to live in a fantasy world. What damage must they be doing to their children?

    • dave hennig

      No damage at all, won’t have a child who doesn’t question anything. Keep listening to what people tell you to do!

  • Large Al

    Beachy head? You first, Rod. No-one’s going to stop you.

    • Robbydot1

      I’d try. I love his humour.

  • Rbeastlondon

    Rod
    off topic but I had to say something.
    Khan was elected London Mayor by people who actually agree with his anti-semitic proclivities. And that is the future unless the 4/5ths who did not vote for him get together and kick him and his fellow bigots out.

  • Lord_Summerisle

    Absolutely spot-on about the middle class hating a genuine meritocracy. Imagine their little darlings having to compete for the good jobs with bright working-class kids. That’s why they did away with the Grammar Schools, after all. My sister (middle class) gave birth to two rather dim sons so she had them privately educated to give them an unearned advantage. And she’s a lefty.

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