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The turf

Own up, Twelve to Follow fans – which of you sabotaged my BMW?

Yes, I've lost you £195 so far, but that's no excuse...

3 May 2014

9:00 AM

3 May 2014

9:00 AM

Mrs Oakley takes a dim view of my using the BMW that consumed much of her savings to ferry sacks of garden refuse and discarded paint tins to the council dump. She took an even dimmer view when, in executing a three-point turn recently, I missed a marker post behind me and reshaped the bumper: replacing it will require regular success in the Tote Placepot.

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