High life

What 12 Years a Slave gets wrong – and The Book Thief gets right

My first ever fight with Deborah Ross, and a few other fights to be going on with

8 March 2014

9:00 AM

8 March 2014

9:00 AM

Damn, damn, damn! It has to be me, and all these years I’ve been thinking it was Hollywood. By the time you read this it will all be over, like the Olympics, but I had someone play 12 Years A Slave on my television set — it’s called Apple TV but I’m incapable of making it work on my own — and could only watch for ten minutes. Then I had the nice woman who assists me change the film. To me it was like watching a cartoon, as one scene jumped to another without continuity, just clips of horrible whites torturing an innocent black man. Needless to say, it won best picture in El Lay, and of course it would, wouldn’t it? Slavery makes Hollywood go weak at its knees as it’s a moneymaker like no other. Brutal white American Southerners plus black victims of American greed equals lotsa moolah at the box office.

Now don’t for a minute think I’m defending slavery. We Greeks haven’t had slaves in modern times, just 2,500 years ago. We stopped after Jesus Christ told us we were all equal in the eyes of God. The fact that Arabs and Africans did not stop, however, is something Hollywood sharks have chosen to ignore. Anyway, had I lived in the American South back then, I would have freed my slaves had I inherited any. Free men work better, as do well-paid domestic servants. I don’t mistreat or fire people, except the odd Frog captain of my boat, who was so busy impregnating women he was always below deck while I spent my time unsuccessfully screaming for him to surface. (He then got a job with an English gent, who asked me for a reference, got a good one, and when I eventually met the Englishman he told me that the captain I gave a great reference to had tried to murder him and was at that moment residing in a St Tropez jail.)

Still, it could have been worse. Bushido could have ended up like the Marie Celeste, the ghost ship discovered mid-Atlantic without anyone on board. But back to Hollywood and its ‘lest we forget’ that whites are the baddies moneymaking scheme. The fact there is still slavery practised in Africa seems to have escaped it. A lot of American blacks take Arab names and become Muslims, an irony in itself in view of the fact that Arabs, in cahoots with African tribal leaders, were the ones that enslaved the poor souls who ended up on slave ships. The Brits, too, made a quick buck transporting them to the New World, where the Americans put them to work in chains. Slavery, we all agree, was the most horrendous of institutions, but it has been over since 1865, except in Africa. I know, I know, blacks in America need a sort of helping hand, but as the great James Burnham wrote, ‘Human differences are so profound, it is neither possible nor desirable to eliminate all inequalities, hierarchies and distinctions.’

Last week in London, a black thug was sentenced to four years — he will serve only two — for killing a sick white man with one punch. The judge said his intent was not to kill him. I beg to differ. Winding up and throwing a punch at someone who was not looking is called murder in my book. Boxers throw short punches because if they wind up and throw it, it will not land. It’s called telegraphing. The thug in question wound up and punched a man half his size looking elsewhere. It would have been a miracle if the man had lived. The thug deserved ten years minimum. Just think what a white thug would have received had he cold cocked a small black man suffering from Asperger’s syndrome? First and foremost it would be called a hate crime, and no judge would dare not call it murder. Second degree, that is.

And speaking of judges, I received some emails concerning my column of two weeks ago in which I derided a British judge for sentencing Eddie Somerset to two years for hitting his wife Caroline. What I got wrong was that Caroline Somerset did not go to the fuzz — the hospital where she was treated did. Blame it on me, but the severity of the sentence is still outrageous, especially when compared with what thugs and people who are trying to murder us for not being Muslims get nowadays.

And now for my first fight with my fiancée Debbie Ross. She did not like the film The Book Thief. She thought it too photogenic. I thought it the best film of the year by far. Sophie Nélisse is the proto-German little girl, the most innocent but puzzled blue eyes ever. The trouble with critics nowadays is that they know about life under German occupation from Hollywood. I know about it first-hand, over the course of three long years. Most German officers acted impeccably, as did simple soldiers. We all know what the bad guys did, but the great majority were civilised and acted within the rules. The Hollywood version is that every man wearing a German uniform was a brute, a barbarian and a killer. I say the opposite. My experience is that the brutes and torturers and killers were a minority, special Gestapo and SS men who defied the mores of a nation that produced Goethe, Schiller, Bach and Beethoven for the Nazi ideology. The Red Army raped close to three million German women, the German army in occupied Europe raped nearly zero. Go see The Book Thief.

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  • firstnamejames

    Agreed, ’12 years a slave ‘ is dull & cliched – and the acting is a joke – but for clueless maudlin bullshit, the award has to go to Gravity.

    • IainRMuir

      I think one of the many flaws in these award ceremonies is that they have to find winners every year, regardless of merit.

      I’d like to see the occasional “not awarded this year due to lack suitable candidates” or “three winners this year”.

      Pigs might fly.

    • khat311

      I don’t understand how people like you can say the acting is a joke, but praise Dallas Buyer’s Club. Performance wise, you can not deny the blood sweat both by Chiwetel Ejiofor and Michael Fassbender. If anything the only person who put the movie down was Sarah Paulson. I don’t see how it’s a cliche if it’s BASED ON A TRUE STORY AND EVENTS. The guy who experienced Slavery even said himself he didn’t want to make an issue on Slavery but share what happened to him. It seems like those who just genuinely dislike the movie,are the only ones that are making a big deal about Slavery. Does that mean people only liked Gravity because it was about space, Dallas buyers club because it was about aids? Why do people get so offended and defensive over those movies getting flack yet outright belittle this film.

      I watched this movie with my ASIAN family, it was very hard for my mom to watch but she appreciated how realistic for most part’s they portrayed the events. Just like Blackfish, she likes to learn about the suffering that goes on so she can better herself and learn more. As she knows from experience the Korean war, actual events were much worse than what she saw in the movie. All the movie did was make her think, any movie about any sensitive subject is meant to make people think. Once again white’s have to bring it up as if it’s just black’s getting privallege than just it being an overall good film/adaptation. Like grow up.

      • La Fold

        Based on a true story and events just like that utterly contrived and made up Roots then?

        PS Lambasting people for racism then claiming
        “White’s have to bring it up as if it’s just black’s getting privallege” is pretty stupid, maybe you need to grow up.

  • Doggie Roussel

    Look at Tinseltown’s treatment and take on the Scots.. Braveheart, for example… Utter cloying sentiment and bilge.

    • firstnamejames

      – a bit like Alex Salmonds’ take ;>

      james (cantab student @ scotland, who gives a ___ )

    • BarkingAtTreehuggers

      your black hawk down moment will come….

      • Doggie Roussel

        Not until you get yourself a new merkin !

  • Fritz123

    Bushido is some glitzy lowlife Hip-Hop-artist in Germany from some camelland who insults establishment in a way Taki should like, btw.

    • La Fold

      And he is bloody awful too.

  • Rumbum

    Good points on slavery Taki, but I would never suspect you of whitewashing German murderers & thieves. Here, in Warsaw, unlike in Hollywood we have fairly accurate memories of how they killed 5 million of Polish citizens (it wasn’t Greek islands holidays you see) destroyed the capital just after they plunder it and now they reinvent the past in their narrative about good Germans and Austrian lunatic with a mustache who compelled them to enter into a II WW. If people from a country of Chopin, Conrad and Mickiewicz suffered that much from the heirs of Goethe and Bach it’s not because they were gentlemen. Quite the opposite. Germans were thieves, mass murderers and sadists.

    • BarkingAtTreehuggers

      ….another Tea Party/Putin groupie troll. It is becoming quite tedious.

      • Winston Smith

        …….you sound like another Libtard/Obama groupie troll. It is becoming quite tedious.

        • BarkingAtTreehuggers

          Nah, pal — a European led NATO is the future. Only Tea Party/Putin apostles would oppose that.

          • GenJackRipper

            LOL. Yeah, let’s bomb Syria and give it to Al Qaida aswell. Because freedom!

    • Daniel Maris

      Quite, the Poles were the bravest and the best of resisters. Taki was clearly taken with the smarly turned out Wehrmacht of his youth. But the ordinary Wehrmacht (not Nazis) presided over and participated in genocide throughout Europe.

    • GenJackRipper

      Give back Danzig

  • Raw England

    Exactly Taki. Lovely to see some red blooded racial reality in the Speccie for once. Another thing about the whole subject is that there’s no mention of the slavery, murder and suffering blacks and Muslims will bring upon us when they’re the majority here.

    We do not owe black people anything, and that’s putting it mildly.

    • khat311

      typical white person. Hypothetical situations, does not change the fact that it happened and people suffered. The book is American, about an American who suffered through slavery in AMERICA. Yet you guys are trying to be point “ohhhh but white people could be slaves too” “slavery happens in other places” “it’s not like black people don’t enslave and kill other people”. News flash the movie is meant to be in the perspective of one man. Black’s weren’t the only ones enslaved the chinese and native Americans were too, so what’s your excuse?

      The fact that this movie is meant to highlight how bad slavery/racism was to show how far we’ve gotten just for you to spew racist hate about how black’s will rise and be the only ones killing people which is the same if not worse than how they were treated in the 1800’s is fucking moronic. Grow up, i know it’s shocking but when minorities are oppressed and denied human rights they do deserve every damn thing whether it’s colour,gender, orientation,etc,etc.

      • Cody Ryan

        Whites were slaves…it was called serfdom.

    • naturallyoccurringimages

      Yes, you do, Respect is one thing you can start with. How about Trayon Martin, Jordan Davis, voter suppression, and the truth instead of lies demonizing Black people and the first Black President?

      • doctorseraphicus

        In the same way respect should not be denied a person based on his or her colour, neither should it be given simply based on colour. The modern demand for “respect” normally comes with a threat: put up with my appalling behaviour, do whatever I say or else I’ll inflict pain on you. So, do something, anything, worthy of actual respect and you can have it.

    • Rane

      Did this person just make white people victims of racism and slavery in a hypothetical scenario, its funny how race discussions between white and black people always end up in white people being the victims of the shit they did to us.
      raw england is a moron because all he did was create an excuse with a hypothetical situation to why he and white people shouldn’t care about all the horrible things they did. you can’t run away from the past or fact brah

  • GraveDave

    The Book Thief , within two minutes loveable little girl beats up Nazi Hitler Youth bully in the playground. Krystalnacht. Sick Jew hunted. Little blonde boy keeps blacking up like Jesse Owens and getting reported and spanked. But later dies in a bombing raid and goes to heaven.
    The end.

  • Dami

    Seriously, is this article a joke? Black people and muslims are BAD, the Nazis are good…What kind of qualifications do you need to write this idiocy. I have a donkey that needs a job…

    • Colonel Mustard

      “I have a donkey that needs a job…”

      I thought Miliband was still employed as leader of the national socialists?

    • Fergus Pickering

      He says the slave movie is boring. I’ll bet it is and I’ll bet it bombs at the box office.

    • Terry Field

      I would expect most of Europe was persuaded that moslems were naughty chaps when there was a powerful caliphate, and when there was an Ottoman Empire, and the gates of Vienna were besieged, the south of France was over-run by the Islamic lot and we knew – to our cost – a great deal about their religious ‘zeal’.
      The real issue now is, do Europeans have any sense yet of the value of, and the need to preserve and continue, their Christian socio-political culture,
      It does not look like it.

  • NilsBoray

    stupid racist piffle

    • Terry Field

      Intelligent racist piffle?

  • CraigStrachan

    Sophie Nelisse is a Canadian playing German, no?

  • I beg to differ, I too enjoyed the Book Thief, but from there to saying that the German Army was far more civilized than the Russian army is quite an overstatement…I am only leaving this comment because I was reading the other day in a book on the Third Reich about the abismal behaviour of the common german soldier…pillaging, robbing and raping were common…Rape started with polish and jewish women and it went on in the other occupied regions…Also, it was the common soldier who most engaged in such activities…The Gestapo were horrified…mixing of aryan fine specimens with “filthy jews and poles” ? Not in their book. I am of course just quoting as I’m sure the historian that wrote this volume has his own references and sources, reports of the time and so on. I find no justifications for crimes of war of such kind, I am merely saying there were some bad batches of human beings on both sides.

    • Terry Field

      The Russians did an awful lot of rapeypoos in Germyland.

  • Daniel Maris

    Let’s put it another way…is there any black person that Taki has ever said he liked apart from the President of Bopthwustana and Sammy Davis Junior?

  • Gelsey Valentine
  • jr

    Doesn’t condone slavery? A few years back Taki on the 150th anniversary of the American Civil War Taki wrote a piece called “Robert E Lee” forever (link: http://takimag.com/article/robert_e_lee_forever/print#axzz2wJuytq7G) in which he described the antebellum South as “one of the loveliest societies that ever existed.”
    As for his admiration of the Wehrmacht and his dismissal of Nazi crimes as the work of a few bad apples no suprise there of course. He is openly sympathetic to Golden Dawn and has used the pages of this very magazine to make this fact known…