Cartoon

‘Oh no! It’s a twurkey.’

Twurkey

14 December 2013 9:00 am

‘Show it an increased fuel bill and it drops all the green stuff.’

Tree

14 December 2013 9:00 am

Cash

14 December 2013 9:00 am

‘It’s a repeat of what we watched last Christmas.’

Shepherds

14 December 2013 9:00 am

‘You have the body of a teenager — your liver’s shot, and you have a couple of sexually transmitted infections.’

Body

14 December 2013 9:00 am

Wise

14 December 2013 9:00 am

‘As you have no close family who’ll be visiting this Christmas, we’ve come to offer you a huge, acrimonious argument if you’d like one.’

Argument

14 December 2013 9:00 am

Satnav

14 December 2013 9:00 am

‘Brussels?’

Ukip

14 December 2013 9:00 am

‘Plenty of bubble-wrap, elves. People love to pop it…’

Bubblewrap

14 December 2013 9:00 am

Haggis

14 December 2013 9:00 am

‘What do you want to watch? Fatal Attraction or Misery?’

Misery

14 December 2013 9:00 am

‘A stomach pump! Just what I wanted!’

Pump

14 December 2013 9:00 am

Trumpet

14 December 2013 9:00 am

‘Oh, you poor things! Quick, come into the cold…’

Cold

14 December 2013 9:00 am

‘We need more of you on the beat.’

Police

14 December 2013 9:00 am

‘We shall now sing O Come All Ye Faithful, stressing the word “all” in a sarcastic manner.’

faithful

14 December 2013 9:00 am

‘Look at all this Christmas stuff — there’s no room for any Easter eggs.’

Easter

14 December 2013 9:00 am

‘If his winter fuel charges have gone up, I’m changing our energy supplier.’

Fuel

14 December 2013 9:00 am

‘You’ll find my wish list on my website — I have prioritised the presents — can you acknowledge to timmy@...’

Website

14 December 2013 9:00 am

Prancing

14 December 2013 9:00 am

Press

14 December 2013 9:00 am

Island

14 December 2013 9:00 am

Style

14 December 2013 9:00 am

Twitter

14 December 2013 9:00 am